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Blunt, big-hearted and endlessly busy, Preeti Sharma’s life is marked by grit, reinvention and dogs – lots of dogs. Elizabeth Kerr reports Do not ask Preeti Sharma what she thinks of anything because you’re likely to get her unvarnished opinion. There’s a colourful, slightly profane way to describe how much energy the Discovery Bay multi-hyphenate has for nonsense, so unless you can take the brutal truth, don’t ask for her thoughts. Which is not to say that if you do get into a rambling conversation with the 51-year-old Delhi native you’ll get anything less than a welcoming and at times shockingly naked exchange about, in no particular order: choices, self-determination, dogs and food. Preeti’s an easy woman to ramble with too, particularly given her straightforwardness and tendency to phrases like, “Oh, all that gunk on samosa chaat is the best part!” Only a woman who’s truly lived would see the beauty of gunk. On this afternoon Preeti is sitting at a Starbucks in IFC, dressed for work in casual striped pants and sneakers. She’s drinking coffee, entirely unconcerned with the impact of caffeine; she can’t recall the last time she had an early night anyway. But she looks far from fatigued. Work right now consists of caring for her 15 dogs, three of whom are fosters; put ting the finishing touches to her welfare trust that donates to Philippine feeding programmes, and Hong Kong and Indian elder care NGOs and pet rescues; running DB’s My Pet Shop in the Nor th Plaza (find it on Facebook: mypetshopdb); teaching Indian cooking and catering through Preats Kitchen (find it on Instagram: preats.kitchen) and, somehow, teaching IB-level mathematics privately – around the world. She has an online class this evening with a student in the UK. “That’s my life. Last year, I think I fostered about 39 or 40 dogs, all of them adopted out,” Preeti states proudly. “I’ve applied for Section 88 as we’re changing the shop into a welfare trust, and 10% from our earnings will go to that. I want to pay the bills but I also want to make sure that this pet shop does more for animal and human welfare.” She pauses for a split second. “I’m also blessed with my four helpers. They all love dogs.” Preeti’s road from essentially Delhi street kid to Hong Kong professional philanthropist started when she first came to Hong Kong for a job in 1993. She was 18 and rolled the dice thinking she could do better for herself, and started working as a waiter before getting a chance to go behind the scenes in the city’s kitchens. A natural cook, she took advantage of the opportunity and years later, 2024 to be exact, opened her own kitchen. “I’ve started taking limited orders for Indian food. All the proceeds go towards my dogs.” Things took a turn when she got married quite young and had her son. The son was great; the rest of it not so much. “Three days in I knew my marriage was never going to work, but because I was rooted to my culture, I thought I’d try and make it work,” Preeti states matter-of-factly before launching into the kind of private details most people try and keep buried. The couple argued over a second child, and things got so bad Preeti contemplated taking her life. Now she recalls the moment that pulled her back from the brink. “The kids hugged me tightly one day and though I’d stepped off the track I thought, ’I can’t take their lives from them.’ They trusted me. I used to be a people pleaser but that day, for the first time I said, ‘I don’t give a…’ I’m not the same person as I was before.” She sunk eight years into a fight for a divorce and custody of her children; the kids took her maiden name and no one has ever looked back. The Sharmas have a nickname for the man who is no longer part of their lives, but Preeti gives credit where it’s due. “He did give me my kids. And how many people get to have a relationship with their own self? How many actually know themselves? I spent a lot of time reinventing myself; I had to go back to the trestle to see what was missing in my childhood. My kids were not going to miss anything.” Part of Preeti reestablishing a so-called normal life for the family involved relocating to DB and taking a teaching position, just in time for the children to start demanding pets. Though she grew up with four dogs and a cat in Delhi, Preeti was under the impression pets cost a fortune in Hong Kong. Discovering they didn’t, she decided to indulge her kids and adopt a puppy: Shadow, who has become the “alpha and the king of the house, and speaks Hindi”. Then came the two-million-dollar Indigo. Another rescue in 2020, Indigo turned out to have a mysterious health issue that became so persistent Preeti wound up spending the equivalent of a down payment on a flat for her care. Her vet advised stopping, and most people simply thought she was crazy to spend that much money on an animal (tell that to pet owners). She had her kids’ support on her decisions, and DB dog lovers came through when she was down to her last pennies. After animal adoption advocate Catherine Lumsden (of Catherine’s Puppies) posted the story on socials, Preeti had thousands of dollars in donations. “Indigo’s the love of my life. Those [vet] bills remind me how she brought me close to animals and their lives and feelings. I think it was a lesson I learnt about compassion. I call her my Buddha,” Preeti says. “I’ve struggled all my life. I grew up poor and begging on the streets. You can always get more money.” Whenever the chance arises to repay some of the kindness, Preeti takes it, calling it the best kind of karma. Now, three decades on, she’s an unapologetic single mother of a 26-year-old son on the way to a career as a pilot, and a 24-year-old daughter heading into a Master of Education programme. She’s a small business owner, after purchasing My Pet Shop from its previous proprietor, who thought she was the logical choice to take over as a longtime customer. She’s an active philanthropist and a major pillar of the DB community 12 years in, with an email signature that says: ‘Preeti, Garv, Sonal… Shadow, Bailey, Indigo, Whiskey, Zac, Ivy, Chloe, Mocha, Simba, Nala, Biscuit & Preet.’ Only three of those listed are bipedal. Preeti works to live, and to give back to those in need, not because it’s a tax write-off; just because it’s right. On top of that her openness about her life is another service, a way to destigmatise many of the challenges she’s faced. Preeti’s not Superwoman: she has her lonely moments and probably works too much, but she has no regrets. Plus she has her dogs, and someone new is always coming through her kitchen door. “In everything there’s a yin yang. You need both. You’re lucky if you never see the downsides of life,” she finishes. “Come to my kitchen and we’ll cook together. We’ll make samosa chaat with all the gunk.” Deal.

Festival Opening: Trey Lee & English Chamber Orchestra Boasting Benjamin Britten as its first patron, the ECO maintains the highest international musical standards, attracting collaborations from such artists as Daniel Barenboim, Vladimir Ashkenazy, Hilary Hahn, Itzhak Perlman and Pinchas Zukerman. Under the patronage of the UK’s King Charles III, the orchestra has made regular appearances at royal events, including the first concert ever broadcast from Buckingham Palace. Furthermore, the ECO is the most recorded chamber orchestra in the world, with a portfolio of over 1,500 works by some 400 composers. Returning to Hong Kong after sold-out appearances last year, the ECO reunites with Musicus’s founding artistic director, the acclaimed cellist Trey Lee on November 1 at Hong Kong City Hall. Lee first collaborated with the ECO in 2024 for the release of Seasons Interrupted , a climate change-themed album published by Signum Records. The album was praised by BBC Music Magazine  as ‘simply captivating,’ and led to Lee’s widely acclaimed performance in the ECO’s 2024 season opening concert at London’s Cadogan Hall. At Musicus Fest 2025 , Lee and the ECO are back together performing his arrangement (for solo cello and chamber orchestra) of Piazzolla’s The Four Seasons of Buenos Aires , as featured on Seasons Interrupted . The concert also includes a string version of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 6, Pastoral  and Tchaikovsky’s Chant d’automne from The Seasons . Adding to the evening’s festivity, local students from the Ensemble Training programme are performing excerpts by Boccherini and Holst alongside the ECO.  Musicus Society has been uniting outstanding artists from Hong Kong and across the world since its founding in 2010. The collaboration with ECO showcases Musicus’s commitment to nurturing young talent and fostering international artistic exchanges. “For the last 15 years, Musicus has consistently celebrated the cross-cultural collaboration of music, bringing artists from Hong Kong and around the world together for unforgettable concert experiences,” says Lee. “With our performers and audiences, I look forward to Musicus’s continued growth as an international meeting point for cultural exchange, celebrating timeless music from the repertoire.” In addition to the opening concert on November 1, Musicus Fest 2025  is delivering nine other concerts in November and December, including a special presentation at Shenzhen Concert Hall.  Date & Time: November 1, 2025 (Saturday) 8pm Venue: Concert Hall, Hong Kong City Hall Tickets available at URBTIX Concert Programme The duration of the concert is approximately 1 hour and 45 minutes, with a 20-minute intermission. • Tchaikovsky (arr. Paul Sherman) Chant d’automne (October) from The Seasons , Op. 37a (arranged for string orchestra) • Beethoven Symphony No. 6 in F, Op. 68, Pastoral  (arranged for string orchestra) • Piazzolla (arr. Trey Lee) The Four Seasons of Buenos Aires  (arranged for cello and string orchestra) | Cello Solo: Trey Lee • Boccherini String Quintet in E, G. 275, Op.11 No. 5, III. Minuetto - Trio (arranged for string orchestra) • Holst St. Paul's Suite , Op. 29 No. 2, IV. Finale (The Dargason): Allegro

To become brave, children need to experience fear and learn to tolerate it. Reading scary stories together can help them with that. Ray Robertson reports Halloween is a strange sort of festival, one that cuts with a double-edged sword. Despite all the treats, sinister tricks lurk in the shadows. Children revel in the dressing up and love eating all the candy, but the supernatural element of things that go bump in the night is never far from their minds. And yet, or perhaps because of this, children love All Hallows' Eve. As parents, we have a responsibility to know the limits of what our children can handle. We don’t want to force them to hear a scary story, if they’re not ready for it. On the other hand, we can’t protect them from their own developing emotions, emotions that are best explored and managed in the safety of their homes and with the attention of their parents. It’s important that children learn to handle feeing afraid, and one of the best places for them to do that is in the pages of a book. ONCE UPON A TIME The first scary books most kids read, or have read to them are fairy tales. Our children are weaned on versions of the Brothers Grimm’s medieval morality tales, in which beasts and innocents face off in dark forests or forbidding castles. The consequences of these clashes aren’t always pretty, and there’s a lot of fear to get through before the ‘happily ever after’. Classic fairy stories from Sleeping Beauty to Snow White are big on dark supernatural forces – wicked witches cast cruel spells that mess with fair maiden. These stories have some really tough life lessons to impart (that have nothing to do with magic), and this is one of the reasons we continue to read them to our kids. But we also continue to read them to our kids simply because kids love them. Of course, kids love all the good magic that’s expressed in fairy stories – fairy godmothers turn rags into ballgowns, animals talk and everything ends happily. So, is it that which makes them love fairy stories, that prevents them from simply being scared witless by them? In par t. But it’s important to know that children learn to make the distinction between fantasy and reality very early on. By age seven, most kids know the difference between what is real and what is not and, once they are able to do this, most can cope with the scares they experience in the make-believe world of a book. It’s true that scary stories can cause nightmares (none of us has ever really come to terms with the horror of Bambi’s mother’s death) but generally speaking, the fears children experience in made-up stories are manageable. Kids can handle the fears they face in Neverland because Neverland doesn’t actually exist. Kids are instinctively drawn to scary things because they rely on the continuing safety of the real world. And in the real world, ghosts and witches and evil fairies don’t exist. Reading scary stories means visiting places where impossible things are suddenly, temporarily, possible. In this way, scary stories play an important role in children’s emotional education, allowing them to identify and control their fears. They give them the chance to experience a really potent fantasy and almost live it, without any of the consequences. They get to experience fear in a controlled environment (in the fantastical world of the book) in the safety of their own homes. The best children’s books are written in such a way as to help kids differentiate between what is real and what is not. A common device sees a book open in the real world, one with which young readers are familiar, that is populated by characters not unlike themselves. Then, after a page or two, something happens to these characters, which means they transition into a world of make-believe. The Pevensies walk through a wardrobe and find themselves in Narnia, Max goes to sleep before sailing through night and day to meet the Wild Things. Children know when the bridge between reality and fantasy has been crossed, and they adjust their fear threshold accordingly. HAPPILY EVER AFTER The other side of it is that kids, like adults, actually like to suspend disbelief every now and then, and really feel the fear. It’s fun for them to get so caught up in a scary book that they scream when the flying monkeys swoop down on Dorothy, or when James attacks Bella in the dance studio. What they are enjoying is the thrill, the hyperarousal of the fightor- flight response within safe parameters. Essentially then, kids are turned on by fear and their ability, through reading, to confront it and cast it aside. They find a way to control how scared they want to be. Scary stories help turn children into readers; the adrenaline rush of seeking out danger and then stepping away is what makes them return for more. It’s exciting for them to discover that they can get through the fear, and that they can put the book down whenever they choose. Children benefit from all this because they learn to grapple with the range of emotions – anxiety, sorrow, confusion, surprise, anger – that fear invites. They come away from a scary story with new tools for managing or controlling their reactions to fear. Call it a new confidence or self-awareness, but it becomes part of how they deal with trauma going forward. Essentially, what children learn is courage. It becomes easier to stand up to a bully at school once you have fought ghosts, monsters or zombies within the pages of a book. There are multiple reasons why book series like Harry Potter and Twilight captivate young readers. Children connect to the vulnerability of the characters, they live vicariously through their potentially fatal challenges and, when the last page is turned, they return to their real lives having survived Voldemort or the Volturi. Vampires are scary. Dementors are too. Kids love to be scared, but not too scared. A parent’s job is to understand this, to invite discussion and make a variety of stories available. And to leave the night light on.

Are you getting caught up in the frenzy of Xmas? It’s time to take a breath and transform the way your family celebrates. Ray Robertson reports Christmas may have become a commercial carnival but that doesn’t mean you can’t buck the capitalist trend and ‘do’ the holidays a little differently. So instead of trucking in the presents and bulk-buying new decorations, look around you for opportunities to reach out to others and show some genuine goodwill. The instant gratification of treating family and friends to their ‘best Christmas ever’ is one thing but helping other people can also give you a warm glow. While you’re at it, refuse to buy into the societal pressure of having to have a ‘perfect’ Christmas. Relax and enjoy the time together, and remind children that Christmas is about giving, not gifts. DARE TO BE DIFFERENT What rubbish, you may be thinking. Now more than ever, after 18 months of pandemic and when lockdown ruined last year’s holiday, we need to celebrate with friends and family. We deserve to treat ourselves to an iPhone 14, WildTable4, Liberty cotton pyjama set and Xbox Series S Holiday Console; we will buy our kids everything on their wish list, including the VTech Level Up Gaming Chair and Jurassic World Inflatable T-Rex. And nothing will stop us gorging on turkey, ham, stollen, Christmas pudding, zabaglione, and every other decadent treat that comes our way. Most of us are perfectly happy having a self-indulgent Christmas, thank you very much. But here’s an experiment. Think of everything you don’t want from Christmas. Sprouts, secret Santas, Dickensian schmaltz, Amazon Prime, the look in your children’s eyes when they tell you on Christmas morning that they’ve already got one of those. What exactly would you and yours miss out on by cultivating a new Christmas experience? If you’re ready to take a new approach, challenging the social norms that say we must ‘keep up with the Joneses’ is a good place to start. Begin by asking yourself questions like, ‘What do the children have?’ ‘What do they need?’ and ‘What is our financial situation like?’ Once you have those answers, it’s easier to decide on – and stick to – a budget for gifts. Another trick when it comes to Christmas shopping for children comes in the form of an easy mantra: “Something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read.” This leaves plenty of scope for practical gifting with a few treats that will be genuinely well-received. Give simple stockings filled with small gifts including things like a piece of fruit… try something different! Consider too that by keeping spending low, you can leave wriggle room in the budget for a big-ticket family holiday every now and then. Christmas gives us a chance to step off the hedonistic treadmill but instead, we have made it the annual culmination of buying, giving, receiving, being disappointed and queuing to return things. When you give your children an avalanche of Christmas presents, you risk turning them into consumer junkies; people who measure their self-worth by the value of their possessions. Tough words but true. As parents of impressionable children, we need to look at our own habits and language. Light-hearted talk of ‘retail therapy’ may inadvertently reinforce the idea that the best way to lift your mood is buying something new. Where most adults can recognise that this quick-fix approach doesn’t address serious problems, children and teens may not have the ability to reason this out. The motive for consumer addiction is often about seeking to fill a hole that a person feels inside themselves. Spending may temporarily offer relief, but in the long run, the hole is still there. Therefore, as parents, it is important to try to foster a lifestyle that builds a core sense of self-worth. Maxing out your credit card on Black Friday and revelling in your feel good overspending doesn’t set much of an example. GIVE OF YOURSELF Christmas could provide us with an opportunity to put aside our own needs and wants, and do something like the Centre for Effective Altruism recommends, namely thinking hard about how best to help other people. This is something we could aim to do every day but most of us need a spur, a special reason to get benevolent, charitable, curious. Christmas could be just such a catalyst. Start small. Make a gift. It will mean so much more than something store bought. From handmade chocolates or cookies to picture frames, a knitted scarf or bulbs in a flowerpot, there are millions of easy-to-make options. Or you could decide that gifts just aren’t necessary any more. Why not ask your friends if you can make a donation to their chosen charity instead? Or, offer your skills in place of a present, and make the gift a useful and experiential one – think babysitting, tutoring or cooking. Alternatively spend part of the holiday volunteering for those less fortunate. You can also encourage your kids to gift their time. Impact HK ( www.impacthk.org ) began with the idea of one act of kindness per month for the underprivileged in Hong Kong, and has since grown to a full programme of monthly initiatives, events and fundraisers. Older kids and teens may benefit from joining one of the group’s monthly Kindness Walks, where donations of clothing, toiletries and food are distributed in various locations around the city. Feeding Hong Kong’s ( www.feedinghk.org ) weekly Bread Run involves willing volunteers of any age in collecting surplus bread from bakeries to send to schools, shelters and charities. The organisation also invites groups to host Food Drive initiatives, collecting non-perishable items such as rice, cooking oil, and canned and dried goods to redistribute to a variety of good causes. SPREAD GOODWILL So, let’s say my argument is winning you over and you’ve decided to do things a little differently this year. What more can you do in the lead-up to the big day? Firstly, practice random acts of kindness. When you’re in town and see an acquaintance getting stressed out by the Christmas chaos, do something kind for them. Help carry their shopping bags on to the ferry, or buy them a cup of coffee. If we want to see more Christmas spirit, we need to be proactive in showing it to others. The win-win here? By brightening someone else’s day, you brighten your own. Secondly, show gratitude to those who help you daily. Think of the people who deliver your mail, pick up your trash, drive your kids to school on the bus, teach or coach them, or assist you in the supermarket, pharmacy, or bank. Christmas is super hectic for them as well, with many of them working long and extra hours. Why not show your appreciation with a homemade treat and gift card? Lastly, set aside one hour each week to slow down and reflect on the spirit of the season. Make yourself a cup of hot chocolate and listen to Christmas music or watch a Christmas movie. Take a brisk walk on Tai Pak Wan, and stop to look at the lights and decorations in DB Plaza. Read a Christmas book with your children. Don’t miss the little joys of the holidays because you are moving too fast.

Being fit and fabulous is one thing but, in pursuing health and happiness, we need to be sure we are sending the right messages to our kids. Trisha Hughes reports Exercise is a word that fills me with an undeniable kind of dread. It means potentially putting on Lycra and exposing my body to the world, which is something I have no wish to do, especially so soon after my Christmas binge. But if you look around the plaza, the fit women of DB have no qualms about doing exactly that. I watch them in a kind of awe as they get off the buses, water bottles in one hand and phones in the other with not the least bit of trepidation. As they walk confidently through the plaza on their way to the gym, their other half is strapping on his helmet and heading off to the bike trails. As I watch, I often wonder what it is that makes the gym (or yoga studio) so enticing to these fit and fabulous DBers. Is it the thought of a quarter pounder combo without the consequences at the end of the session that makes it so appealing? Or is it the alluring promise of those endorphins ready to rage mysteriously through their bodies at the end of a punishing one-hour workout? I was raised in a country where women are obsessed with their bodies. Australia is one of those countries where nearly everyone knows how to swim and they spend every available weekend soaking up the sun on a beach in their skimpy bikinis. And of course, women watch other women and they make judgments, and for a while people’s opinions were a vital part of my life. But oh boy, was I wrong. I’ve come to realise that generally speaking, people’s judgements don’t matter after all. It’s freed me up for a ‘who cares!’ adventurous approach to life. You will know by now that I am no exercise bunny. And although we are roughly the same age, I am certainly no Madonna. She’s been working out for 40+ years, she’s been married twice, and has six children and a gruelling career. Goodness, the woman should be exhausted! She should be lying on the couch at night watching movies and eating ice cream with her fingers. Instead, she’s off to the gym at least twice a day and out there par tying night after night, all with the unbridled enthusiasm of an 18-year-old schoolgirl. I can only admire her stamina and energy. By contrast, I picture myself slumped over a treadmill, sweaty and dispirited after only a few minutes in the gym. A fretful voice in my head whispers: ‘There has to be some other way!’ CELEBRITY DIETS AND THE GYM That was the lightbulb moment. I decided to delete exercise from my 2023 agenda… all I needed was a diet. The thought made me stop and open up my new calorie-counting phone app and ask it how many calories there are in one glass of red wine. I knew I’d get a quick and simple answer like I did with the boiled egg question. The app then asked me was it red wine or jus? Regular? Cooking? Sparkling? Or just red wine? After a lengthy think, I pressed regular. It then asked Sip? Large glass? Extra-large glass? Or Other? Playing it safe, I opted for other. By then, I thought I’d just twitter Madonna because she would certainly know what course of action to take when it came to calorie counting and exercise. Or even Joanna Lumley, actress, champagne swiller, owner of the world’s most seductive voice and as thin now as she was in Absolutely Fabulous. And then, I stopped to think… do we place too much emphasis on the current celebrity preoccupation with telling us what to eat? The thought made me pause and wonder if we put too much faith in celebrity diets and by extension in the all-pervasive ‘name and shame’ culture, popularised by shows like The Biggest Loser. I’m no doctor or psychologist but finger wagging rarely works. NUTRITION IS THE SOLUTION Are these messages perhaps the wrong ones for our children? When 12-year-old kids are undergoing gastric banding surgery, and the obesity rate is still climbing, surely we should be thinking whether these anorexic-looking people are the ones who should be influencing us. Our obesity crisis will not be solved by a clutch of privileged people who eat small amounts of food and crave nothing, because for most of us food is perennially fascinating, not least delicious. If in doubt, you only have to watch a Jamie Oliver show to know that extensive dieting is bad for us, not to mention the long-term damage it does to our skin. It’s nutrition that is the solution to the problem. But with so many people offering different ideas on nutrition, who is right and who is wrong? There’s no doubt about it, diets are confusing. We have low fat, low-carb, low-calorie, detox, low-glycaemic and high-glycaemic. Some people insist on the low calorie option, while others insist that eating less more often will build up metabolism and is the way to go. Then you have all the weird celebrity diets, with a cacophony of stars eager to disclose their intimate culinary habits. Victoria Beckham has eaten steamed fish and vegetables almost exclusively for 25 years; Rebel Wilson uses the Mayr Method to lose weight, cutting out sugar, dairy and gluten and chewing each bite of food 40 times; Joe Rogan is a fan of the carnivore diet (just meat and fruit) and when Mariah Carey wants to lose weight, she eats nothing but Norwegian salmon and capers. (Incidentally, it’s inadvisable to try these diets at home.) EVERYTHING IN MODERATION So here is what I’ve I figured out. Life can be tragically short and yet, it’s in our hands to fill it with heaps of happiness. I know that to be miserable about self image is easy and that self-absorption is an utter waste of time. I’ve learnt that no matter how rich or poor you are, how many shoes you have (that number is called ‘never enough’), and how much exercise you do in the messy business of life, the greatest possessions and achievements you can ever have, are your friends and family who love you just as you are, with or without a muffin top. Of course, it’s good to keep an eye on your weight but what about those magic words ‘everything in moderation?’ And now the dreaming part (and dreamers out there will know what I’m talking about), I would really like it if the day would come when I can eat all the chocolate I want and not have it show up on my hips. While I dream, I am lacing my feet into joggers ready to hike around beautiful Lantau. If anyone should see me collapsed in a bush, please be kind enough to haul me out and revive me. Low-cal red is fine.

Said to be man’s best friend, dogs can provide kids with a host of benefits as well, even in very early childhood. REPORTING BY Raphael Blet Have you noticed that almost every young family has a dog? Sometimes the baby comes first, sometimes it’s the pup. Either way, dog ownership is the way many of us measure our family’s ‘completeness’. This phenomenon is particularly noticeable in DB (Dogs and Babies, right?), where every family seems to have at least one of each. The question is why. Why does the picture of an ‘ideal family’ contain a dog? For sure, photos of our children playing with their brand-new pedigree pup or endearing rescue mutt can up our following on Instagram but there’s so much more to it than that. Research shows that dog ownership can positively contribute to our children’s health, both mental and physical. Let’s take a look. TEACHING RESPONSIBILITY Having a dog is a huge responsibility and, traditionally, that’s one of the main reasons we bring them into our kids’ lives. With a pet in the house, children learn what it means to take care of a dependant animal, one who relies on the family for pretty much everything from food and exercise to love and cuddles. Getting children involved in a dog’s care prepares them for responsibilities later in life, and by the same token it builds their self-esteem. Once children realise that their dog’s survival and happiness is dependent on their actions, they will feel good about themselves and their achievement. There are numerous ways to involve kids in the care of a dog and the tasks you assign should be ageappropriate, such as allowing a three-year-old, who is too young to walk a dog, to put the water bowl down instead. Older kids can of course take more responsibility, even sole responsibility for a dog. It’s important to ask yourself how much responsibility your child can handle. How much assistance will he need from you? BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS In bringing a dog into our children’s lives, many of us want to repeat the past… We look back to our own childhood when we were inseparable from our four-legged companion, and we want our children to have the same experience. A dog can be the perfect playmate, a source of comfort, a trusted friend and a supplier of unconditional love. The bond that develops between kids and their dogs can be very strong, so much so that children often name their pet when asked who they would go to with a problem. Dogs can make children feel unconditionally accepted, whereas friends, siblings and sometimes even parents can judge and criticise. Research shows that dog ownership also makes children happier and less stressed. Petting a dog has been proven to lower cor tisol levels in both the person and the pet. Playing with a dog ups serotonin and dopamine levels, meaning we feel good. In choosing a four-legged playmate for your child, it can be dif ficult to decide which breed is the best fit. Golden Retrievers, Beagles and Irish Setters are all sound choices – known to be playful and protective. Pugs, Brussels Grif fons and French Bulldogs love their families – particularly their laps. Breeds associated with aggressive behaviour – German Shepherds, Pit Bull Terriers, Doberman Pinschers – are seldom seen on ‘best family dog’ lists but there are always exceptions. Remember that while breed plays a part, each dog has its own unique personality. ENCOURAGING EMPATHY Multiple studies show that children who own dogs are more empathetic, better able to understand and share the feelings of others, than those who don’t. As children bond with their dog, they learn to read its behaviour and understand its needs – they learn to know when it’s hungry and needs food, when it’s happy and wants to play, when it’s sad or stressed and needs affection. It makes sense that this ability to empathise transfers to human interactions. Research shows that owning a pet can significantly lower the chances of children showing violent and/ or bullying behaviours. By the same token, their enhanced ability to empathise may lead them to stand up to bullies if they see their friends being badly treated. We want our children to be kind, considerate and compassionate. Just as importantly, they need to learn to set boundaries for themselves and respect those of others. And here again dog ownership can help. Think about what happens when a child pulls a dog’s tail, or stomps on its feet. Despite not speaking our language, dogs are expressive enough to make us understand when we’ve crossed the line. Discussing a dog’s reaction can open the way for a wider conversation with our children about their own personal boundaries and those of their friends. PROMOTING PHYSICAL HEALTH One of the most obvious benefits of dog ownership is that it keeps kids active. But it may surprise you to know just how active they are compared to children who don’t own dogs. According to a Child Heart and Health Study (CHASE), a St George’s project examining the health of 5,000 UK-based primary school students, children with dogs spend an average of 325 minutes (more than five hours) doing physical activity per day, 11 more minutes than those without dogs. Dog owners also spend 11 fewer minutes (562 minutes over the seven-day stint) in sedentary behaviour each day, and they were found to take 360 more steps than the other kids. Surprisingly enough, homes with dogs are also healthier for kids. Research has shown that babies in homes with dogs have fewer colds, fewer ear infections, and need fewer antibiotics in their first year of life than those raised in pet-free homes. Children who grow up with a dog have fewer respiratory tract infections and get asthma much less often than other kids. It’s not clear why living with a dog makes such a difference. A time-honoured theory, the hygiene hypothesis, suggests that children’s immune systems mature best when infants are exposed to germs in just the right amount. Too many germs are unhealthy but so is a sterile, germ-free home. That theory is now giving way to the microbiome hypothesis. It’s no longer about getting exposed to the right number of microbes, but to good bacteria and viruses that alter the microbes in children’s intestines and protect against both allergies and infections. Of course, this isn’t a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. It would be a mistake to bring a dog into the house of a 12-year-old with asthma – exposure has to happen very early in life. And what of kids who are allergic to dogs? Are any dog breeds hypoallergenic? The shor t answer is no but there are less-allergenic breeds – dogs with a low-shedding coat – around whom allergy-sufferers can sometimes be comfortable. Call your local animal shelter, they might just happen to have an almost hairless Chinese Crested who’s waiting patiently to complete your family.

Encouraging children to help around the house sets them up for adulthood, while allowing them to feel competent and responsible in the here and now. Kate Farr reports. While many of us are fortunate enough to have a helper to relieve us of daily household chores, outsourcing all of the domestic drudgery can have some unexpected disadvantages. For kids who are accustomed to always having ‘Auntie’ around, the university years, and the subsequent forays into independent adulthood can come as a pretty rude awakening. Ultimately, it falls to us parents to ensure that our kids turn out to be productive people, rather than pampered princes and princesses. The good news is that you can start teaching life skills to even the tiniest of tots, simply by having them near you as you and/ or your helper go about your daily chores. Older kids, meanwhile, are capable of doing practically any household task that you can do, as long as they are given plenty of guidance. The first step is to make sure children know exactly what they’re being asked to do. Start by showing them how to do a specific chore, like loading and unloading the dishwasher, and then monitor their progress until you are certain they can do it unattended. Make your expectations clear and demonstrate how you'd like even the simplest tasks to be done. Second step, establish a regular schedule. Start by giving children a few simple tasks to complete, then add to the list once these chores have become part of their daily routine. As always, be mindful about the need for balance: children need the opportunity to acquire valuable life skills by helping out at home but they also need plenty of time to do their homework and have some fun. TAKING CHARGE By the time your children reach their teens, they should have a regular roster of household tasks to tackle without supervision. Examples include vacuuming, stripping the sheets from the family’s beds, and even cleaning the bathrooms. This helps to build trust, and sets a benchmark for cleanliness for your soon-to-be-independent young people. In addition to helping out around the house, a chores list for teens should provide them with the oppor tunity to take responsibility for themselves and their things. Encouraging teenagers to be tidy (particularly in their bedrooms) can be challenging, but here’s a smart hack – introduce them to the wonderful world of Stacey Solomon, the empathic organising consultant, who hosts popular British TV show Sort Your Life Out. Solomon and her team have some genuinely helpful and relatable de-cluttering/ tidying tips that can benefit everyone, including the messiest teen on the block. Solomon’s basic mantra? Sort your possessions by category, keep only the items that you absolutely love or need, and donate, sell, recycle or toss the rest. Adopting Solomon’s method results in tidier living spaces, no doubt, but there’s more to it than that. The realisation that items they no longer want – clothes, gadgets, furniture – can be given (or sold) to someone else can be a big one for teens, inspiring regular clear-outs and an altruistic mindset. Teens like to be in charge, so it’s a good idea to reflect this in their chores list by asking them to take care of other family members. Tasks like babysitting younger siblings and making their school lunches, watering household plants, and feeding and caring for the family pet, empower teens. They realise you feel they are responsible enough to have someone (or something) depend on them. Whether your teen is a dab hand in the kitchen or completely disinterested in the culinary arts, a cooking course that covers all the basics can be a wise move, equipping them with the tools they’ll need to feed themselves in the outside world. Designate one night per week for your older teen to take charge of feeding the family, meaning that they get to hone their skills while you reap the benefits. Speaking of rewards, pocket money can be a major motivator for teenagers, especially if they are saving up for something really special. While bribing children with cash to get them to do their chores is not recommended, a small cash reward can be a little extra incentive for them to go above and beyond at home. Make it clear that hard work will always be rewarded – at home in the here and now, and also in the future, in the form of bigger pay checks. CHORES FOR TWEENS Tweens become increasingly independent and, from around nine or 10 years, they can tackle many core household jobs, such as cleaning surfaces, washing up, emptying bins and sorting the recyclables. This serves to reinforce the message that a clean home takes some effort, and that ‘the rubbish fairy’ doesn’t actually spirit their discarded wrappers away. It will also stand them in good stead for maintaining shared student accommodation in the years to come. When it comes to kitchen duties, you can start by involving tweens in the process of packing their own lunch. Make an event of this by choosing a new lunchbox together (bento boxes or stackable tiffins allow for lots of different flavours). Then make a ‘menu card’ of options that includes plenty of fresh fruit and veggies, a protein, a carbohydrate and something sweet. Kids can ‘place their order’ for the week ahead by ticking individual items from each category. Then, they can help you shop for ingredients at the supermarket. If time allows, a regular themed food day is another good way to get kids interested in the kitchen. Ask them to pick a country from a map, then spend some time researching facts about the culture, the people and, of course, the food. The grand finale is to shop for ingredients together and cook a meal from the chosen country to eat as a family. CONSTRUCTIVE GAMES Toddlers and really young children are like sponges soaking up the influences around them, and at this age, the strongest influence of all comes from their parents. Model the type of behaviour that you would like them to learn and encourage them to help with simple household tasks as early as possible. Sweeping and vacuuming are endlessly fascinating to young children and a soft duster is a safe tool for little hands. Laundry time is another great opportunity to turn a chore into fun. Toddlers love to load washing into the machine (be vigilant for stray Duplo and toy cars) and pass pegs... and sock-pairing becomes a great game when they’re learning to match up colours. Most little ones adore tidy-up games, so ensure that your toy storage is accessible, bust out a tidying song, and encourage them to be in charge of putting away their own playthings. This helps to reinforce the importance of looking after treasured items and soon becomes second nature. Your next point of focus is the kitchen – and the daily chores therein. If you have the space, you can encourage kids to stand on a low stool and get handson with the food prep. Scooping, spreading, whisking and even some carefully supervised chopping allows children to understand how their meals end up on the table, and can be instrumental in broadening a fussy eater’s culinary horizons. By continually reinforcing the message that household chores are everyone’s responsibility, you are giving your offspring valuable life skills that they can draw on throughout their lives. And the earlier you start, the less resistance you’re likely to encounter along the way. So grab your toddler and a dustpan, and get to work.

Ahead of May 14, Sharon Lesley Le Roux reflects on the reasons we celebrate Mother’s Day, and why they are as relevant today as ever. As a child growing up in the UK, Mother’s Day was all about a handful of daffodils (my mother’s favourite flower) picked from the garden, a handmade card containing a message of love, and a Mother’s Day breakfast that consisted of my mother’s favourite marmalade, with toast and coffee, all delivered on a tray to my mother in bed. For my mother, I’m certain it wasn’t about any of these gifts at all. It was knowing the pleasure that bringing them all together had given me, her child. It was understanding the excitement I felt about being able to ‘surprise’ her on her special day. And, because she was my mother, she would have overlooked the soil I’d brought in on my shoes, not seen where I’d coloured outside the lines, not cared one jot about the burnt bits I hadn’t managed to scrape off. THANKING YOUR MOTHER Whoever, and wherever, we are in the world, we all observe Mother’s Day. The same day my mother and I were busy celebrating, so were mothers and their children in Ireland, Nigeria and Bangladesh. Mother’s Day is one of only a handful of celebrations observed by families all around the world; each nation setting aside a date once a year – the second Sunday of May in Hong Kong – to celebrate the relationship of mother and child. In the 21st century, what is Mother’s Day about? Is it just another of those ‘Hallmark’ occasions which businesses cash in on? I don’t think so. Handmade cards made by small hands still beat shop-bought ones, just as they did when I was a child. Phone conversations with mothers and grandmothers abroad are priceless compared to flowers, chocolates or gif ts ordered online. Mother’s Day isn’t just one special day in the year when children get to show their awareness of, and appreciation for, the things their mothers do for them; of course this happens in households all over the world every day. For children, Mother’s Day acts as a reminder to stop and think what their relationships with their mothers mean. This year (being an English mother, my family and I celebrated on March 19), I asked my two girls what Mother’s Day means to them. My 13-year-old believes Mother’s Day is “a way for women to feel good about themselves, especially those who’ve gone through the hard work of having kids and raising them. And, it’s for the children to appreciate what their mothers have done, and gone through, to make their lives as good as it can get for them.” My five-year-old feels Mother’s Day is about “giving lots of love to your mum, and giving her a big love heart for loving us”. APPRECIATING YOUR CHILD For mothers, Mother’s Day is a time when we are reminded to pause a while in our busy lives, and reflect on just how absolutely awesome it is for us to be able to bring life into the world. It’s for us to remember there was a time when our little people didn’t exist, and to acknowledge how much richer, as a result, our lives are for having them. It’s a time for us to look back and see how, as each year goes by, we are changed by the act of motherhood. We are changed by the sacrifices we make daily, simply to put our children before ourselves. And we are changed by feelings of protection and empathy and joy and more, the depths of which we didn’t experience before we had children. In creating our children we, in turn, have evolved and grown. We appreciate the blessing and the privilege that comes with the role of motherhood. We send messages of love to our own mothers, understanding only now the sacrifices they made for us when we were children. And, we send our friends who are mothers Happy Mother’s Day messages, acknowledging our shared membership of one of the most rewarding clubs in the world. HONOURING UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Not so long ago, my mother sent me a Helen Exley collection of quotes and poems: In Praise and Celebration of Daughters. On one of the pages of the book I found this: ‘I even love her bones. We are so close. She is my very best friend.’ Mother’s Day isn’t just the time to celebrate the mother figures we are to our children, but also the friends we are to them – and they to us. Mother’s Day is the per fect time to leave our separate interests aside, and do something together we enjoy. My children have two mother figures here in Hong Kong – myself and Mama Ruth, our family’s domestic helper who my kids have known, and loved, all their lives. The day before Mother’s Day this year, my girls, Mama Ruth and I re-watched Beauty and the Beast. We enjoyed the movie – one of our favourites – and each other, as we laughed and cried together. There’s a Filipino saying that translates as: ‘Even with the food all ready for her to eat, the mother will always find the need to give every last morsel to her children.’ This is true of all mothers, but here in Hong Kong especially, mothers like Ruth are a perfect example of just how far mothers will go for their children. A few years before she joined our family, Ruth had come from the Philippines to Hong Kong, leaving her two-year-old son in the care of her brother. She came because working here meant she would be able to put her son through school, and put food on his table. Ruth is in no way unique. In Hong Kong thousands of women have given up that precious relationship with their children we western mothers take for granted, so they can give them a better life. Ruth’s boy will soon be 23, and will be graduating from nursing college. His mother is justifiably proud of him, as we are of her, knowing those sacrifices she has made to get him to where he is today. Be it as children or as mothers, the meaning and traditions we each attach to Mother’s Day are rooted in love and honour and respect. Though it may well have become a commercialised event in recent years, still it remains a celebration – of motherhood and of the relationship between mother and child. Mother’s Day is the recognition of the protection, nurture, sacrifice and unconditional love that mothers give their children, and the happiness and love their children give in return. For those of you who are celebrating this year on May 14, I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day – and a Happy Helper Appreciation Month to boot.

Do your kids love to hate each other? Kate Farr provides some tips on changing things up. Jealousy, competition and fighting between brothers and sisters can star t right after the bir th of a second child, and it can continue throughout childhood. Parents dealing with sibling rivalry will find it slightly soothing to learn that it is a concern for almost everyone with two or more kids. But only slightly soothing. This statistic doesn’t actually ease the burden, or provide you with the tools to put an end to the seemingly constant squabbling. If you feel like you’re rearing sparring par tners, rather than lifelong allies, how do you change things up? CELEBRATE INDIVIDUALITY Opening the discussion, it’s important to recognise that there are a number of factors that may contribute to tension within the sibling relationship. Birth order, age gap, gender and a child’s individual characteristics can all play a part. For example, a particularly sensitive child may clash with a more assertive brother or sister. Parenting style is also a major factor. If a parent is seen to favour a sibling, giving him encouragement while tending to direct blame at another, this can create a sense of disconnect within the family, causing a child to misbehave in order to gain the parent’s attention. But how can busy parents best channel this desire for attention into positive behaviours? A good way to start is with one-to-one attention. Take some time to connect with each child individually. This should ideally happen daily, and can be something as simple as playing a quick game together, reading a book or taking a short walk. The aim is to help reinforce the bond between parent and child, enabling children to feel secure in their relationship, which translates into calmer behaviour. It’s also important to recognise that all children are different: recognise their uniqueness but avoid drawing comparisons or labelling. For example, you could say, “Ýou are really good at reading,” rather than, “You are the smart one in the family.” This acknowledges one child’s distinctive talents without any negative associations implied towards the other children. When it comes to elder siblings’ behaviour, we can often have overly high expectations. Don’t expect per fection from older children, and try not to force them to always be the ‘big boy or girl’. They may not wish to play with their little brother, or give their little sister a cuddle, and we should respect that. This also applies to children’s negative feelings. Acknowledging children’s feelings helps them process things. Saying, “I can see that you would like some quiet time away from your brother,” or “You seem disappointed that your sister has a play date today,” helps children to realise that their feelings are valid, and that it’s OK to vocalise them. STEP IN AND MEDIATE Of course, occasional tensions and conflicts are bound to arise within any close relationship. Should parents try to shield children from this? Yes, but only up to a point. It’s important to teach kids how to deal with conflict from a young age, reinforcing this throughout childhood. Conflict is necessary for personal development, establishing relationships and setting boundaries. It also enables kids to understand emotions such as annoyance, anger and rage – just as important as an understanding of joy and happiness. All that being said, parents do need to ensure that fights between kids don’t become too violent with bullying of siblings, or the suppression of one child by another. It is important to understand where the line lies between innocent pushing and shoving, and the development of unhealthy relationships with one child forever the victim and the other always the abuser. When it comes to specific methods for handling conflicts, there is a lot to be said for the positivediscipline approach which is focused on the idea that there are no bad children, just good and bad behaviours. The aim is to try to get siblings to hear each other, to develop their emotional intelligence skills, and to look for compromise and conflict resolution. In taking this approach, your first tactic is to stay neutral. Even when it is clear who is right and who is wrong don’t simply side with the victim. All you will do is confirm the obvious and it is unlikely that you will resolve the problem. Importantly too, remain calm on the outside, even if you are angry inside. Breathe out and speak calmly. This is usually much more effective than shouting. Physically remove your kids from each other but not necessarily to dif ferent rooms – just create distance and, again, stay neutral while doing so, even if a much younger sibling is involved. Take the younger child’s hand and say to him in front of his elder brother or sister: “We are going to sit down on the couch now and calm down.” Then ask the elder sibling to calm down and sit down also. Once kids are treated equally there is no victim or bully. Your next task is to encourage your kids to seek an agreement rather than carry on fighting. Take on the role of mediator to avoid the ‘he-said-she-said’ arguments that can arise when unpicking everyday squabbles. Don’t take sides. Try to facilitate a mutually agreed solution to an issue by brainstorming possibilities. This can be as simple as sharing a toy by playing together, or even setting a timer to ensure both children get an equal turn. Once the conflict has passed and you are sitting together, perhaps at dinner, talk about feelings. Tell your kids how sad it makes you feel when they are fighting with each other and how good it would be to find mutually acceptable ways of preventing conflict in the future. Express your readiness to listen to both sides, to stay neutral and to brainstorm possible solutions. You can even write a ‘conflict-resolution plan’ together and put it up on the wall. Then, the next time a situation threatens to develop, you can raise an eyebrow and point to the plan that they helped create. LET THEM BATTLE IT OUT Once children are confident in their own ability to handle conflict, you can allow them to experience the satisfaction that comes with working out differences positively. Wherever possible, use positive feedback, rather than negative reinforcement to get your message across, focusing on strengthening children’s negotiation and listening skills, as well as stressing the importance of compromise. Parents need to reinforce this with some hard and fast ‘get-along rules,’ such as using kind words, being gentle and sharing, while also respecting each other’s belongings. This gives you a great opportunity to encourage positive behaviour when you see it, such as when your child shares his toy, or comforts his sibling. Know that communication is key. Allow children to express their feelings and encourage them to ask for help without blaming others. For example: “My sister took my favourite book and it made me feel sad. Could you help me find another book please, Mum?” Be creative and, after a while, you may find that your children no longer need your mediation quite so often. Which is surely the most reassuring and hopeful message of all for any parent of siblings.

At the best summer camps learning is stirred into play. There’s no better place for children to have fun, while developing new skills and stepping out of their comfort zones. REPORTING BY Suveera Sharma & Samantha Wong If “holiday” was a person, he would surely be the most loved one on ear th. He would be fun, sometimes engaging and sometimes lazy, but always welcome. For adults and kids alike, a break from the regular monotony of life is something to look forward to. Holidays bring images of excited kids and slow-paced, lazy afternoons, of reunions and celebrations with loved ones, and of distant or near travel. That said, many of us DB families choose not to travel out, preferring to stay in the comfort of our homes for at least some of the summer holiday. And as much as we love the chatter and liveliness of children in the house, it’s sometimes difficult to keep them engaged constructively. The summer break should not mean a complete end to the structured day… which is where holiday camps come in. PRIORITISING FUN With all the different summer activities on offer across DB and Lantau, how do you decide which will benefit your child the most? First off, in choosing a summer camp for your children – with your children if they are old enough – making sure they are going to have lots of fun should be a first priority. And that at least should be easy enough to achieve. No matter which type of camp you choose, your kids will be given the opportunity to be busy and social. Hopefully too, away from the pressures and social hierarchies of school, they’ll be able to make new friends and, with the guidance of adult mentors, discover new things about themselves. Generally speaking, then, it’s safe to say that summer camp is going to be a fun experience for children but this gets you no closer to deciding on a specific course for them. Looked at one way the decision is simple. Sign them up for an activity they already enjoy and give them the chance to focus on it, and get seriously good at it. Game over, you might say, job done. But have you thought about alternatives? You might be tempted to go the other way… sign your kids up for a course in something new and unexpected, something that will expand their horizons. Let’s say your daughter is a homebody – constantly either hardwired to the computer or glued to the TV. Any camp you choose will encourage her to unplug and get social but one that’s based outdoors could be the way to go. Signing her up for a sports course would see her being physically active, spending time outdoors and connecting with nature in some way. It would also give her an opportunity to escape the virtual and interact with real people and play games, using more than just her thumbs. To keep things interesting, you might also consider enrolling your kids in a classroom-based camp. You’ll have read about the “summer slide”, where grade points are lost because of lack of tuition over the holidays, and you’ll want to avoid it. There’s no reason to think that an educational camp will be boring – these specialised, teacher-led summer courses promise to make learning and problem-solving fun and interactive. ENHANCING SOCIAL SKILLS It is a well-known fact that children learn best when they are in a group, learning together. Group learning also gives them the oppor tunity to hone their social skills, which will have a lifelong impact on their relationships and personalities. Holiday camps provide a perfect environment for children to intermingle and learn. At camp, children learn to work with each other and their adult mentors, outside of the classroom and family unit. In their time away from home, they are encouraged to take responsibility for everything from their belongings to their emotions. While building new friendships, they learn to navigate through group dynamics, manage conflict and accept guidance. Summer camp can also teach kids how to empathise. Placed in a new environment with new people, they learn to value the kindnesses of others and they begin to give of themselves in return. In challenging situations, they learn to be sensitive and to support friends who are struggling. Children learn that to succeed, they must work together as part of a team. Rather than thinking only of themselves, they begin to see themselves as part of a community, and with this comes a valuable sense of acceptance and belonging. Summer camps teach kids about team spirit and cooperation; they learn how to work with each other and deliver results, and they learn to play within the rules. With this in mind, it’s well worth considering the benefits of a mixed age-group camp, where the older kids are asked to take care of the younger ones and help them with complicated tasks. While this teaches the older children responsibility, the youngsters also benefit because they are encouraged to go beyond their abilities and push their limits a bit. BROADENING HORIZONS Learning new skills and stepping out of your comfor t zone always broadens your horizon and opens new avenues. It is a known fact that all top achievers are lifelong learners. To constantly look for new insights and ideas, and keep growing is the biggest and most impor tant life lesson that we can teach our kids. Exposing them to novelty, as we do at summer camp, and challenging them physically and mentally, will shape them to the best of their potential. By putting themselves out there, having new experiences and trying new things, kids begin to understand what it takes to succeed in life. They develop decision-making skills to get themselves through challenging situations, and they grow in confidence and flexibility. By tackling an activity that pushes them outside their comfort zone, children come away with a stronger sense of personal pride and self-reliance. As they progress through a course, their confidence builds and they accomplish tasks that at first seemed impossible. All this builds strength of character, courage and determination. Children learn discipline, problem solving and perseverance, which are much needed skills in life. The best summer camps challenge kids every day. They come home tired from all the physical and mental activity and ready for a full meal and bed. They wake up looking forward to the day ahead and to giving it their best shot. Summer camp provides a carefree environment where kids work on ideas and learn to be responsible for their actions; it gives children a sense of purpose, hope and direction. The benefits of holiday camps are indeed many. Fortunately, we live in a community which has a reputation for being family friendly. There are innumerable options for kids to stay close to nature and be outdoors or stay indoors and perhaps try something different. No matter which camp you choose for your children, it is important to challenge them. If you push them to the outer boundaries of their abilities, you can experience the joy as you watch their faces light up when they succeed. As John A. Shedd wrote back in 1928, “ A ship in the harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for .”

The start of a new school year can be a stressful time for children at any age, try these holistic parenting hacks to help ease the transition. The holidays are over and the new school year has begun. This can be a stressful, even depressing time for children. The transition can test their coping skills in dealing with adjustments such as new teachers and new classrooms, as well as managing hectic school and work schedules. Children need to feel confident and organised as they head back to school, and mentally prepared to knuckle down and get back not just into a daily routine but into study. So, what can you do to help? PHYSICAL WELLBEING Positive physical health and wellbeing contribute to a child’s ability to flourish, thrive and achieve. Equipping children with the skills to cope with potentially stressful situations will enable them to navigate the challenges that might lie ahead. In terms of children’s general wellbeing, there are three key areas to consider. Are your kids sleeping well? Are they getting enough exercise? What is their daily diet? Of course, routine bedtime hours are unappealing to many children, especially teens but a huge part of being prepared and coping is being able to function – without sleep we can’t function at our best. We all benefit from structure. So from the first day back at school (or better, a week or so before school star ts), get your children into a regular routine. Ensure they go to bed at a fixed time and wake up early. Getting clothes ready the night before – and organising backpacks, binders, lunchboxes and cafeteria money – will help remove the stress from those first early mornings, as will eating a hear ty breakfast. Those precious after-school hours also need to be well-structured, with time set aside for doing homework, socialising, screentime, eating supper, hanging out with family and simply relaxing. There’s a lot to cram in! As the new term progresses, monitor your children’s routine and discuss areas that could be improved. Strengthen their understanding about how physical wellbeing can set us on the path for success. Your aim is to assist by being suppor tive and realistic: work out a personalised schedule that makes sense for your child. Know too, that it’s important to be flexible with time; allow for the unexpected. MENTAL HEALTH Often, it’s the fear of the unknown – new classmates, teachers, classes – that is most stressful for children heading back to school. The good news is that most children are adept at coping with change and you can help them in that process by providing a setting that fosters resilience, and encourages them to share and express their feelings. As always, it’s important to talk to your children: ask about their concerns – and really listen to their response. When we feel heard, we immediately feel validated, and once our fears are vocalised, they tend to diminish. Change can be difficult, but also exciting. Let your children know that you are aware of what they’re going through and that you are there to help. You can begin to educate even very young children about the nature of anxiety – and its benefits. Take some time to explain the “fight or flight” process, so they understand what is happening to their brain and body when they become nervous. Explain that anxiety is meant to protect us but occasionally misfires and becomes a little overprotective – so we need to train our brain to embrace anxious thoughts instead of pushing them away. It is important to encourage children to face their fears instead of falling into the trap of avoidance. After discussing what anxiety is and how it plays out, it’s important to validate your children’s feelings by empathising. Tell them how nervous you remember feeling at the beginning of a new school term or when you started your first job. Let them know that we all experience these feelings and that it’s totally fine to do so. PRACTICAL SUPPORT When heading back to school, children need to know that they have your support not just emotionally but also on a practical level. So, it’s essential that you get involved! You may be able to arrange to take a tour of their school, so they can show you where their locker and classrooms are located. This will help ease anxiety of the unknown. The more you know about your children’s school, the better equipped you will be to understand the transition they are undergoing. Be sure to meet members of the school community, or join the school PTA. Attend any meetings the school invites you to. If you hear from the teachers about upcoming activities, you can ensure your child is organised and prepared. Direct any questions or concerns you have to the school, rather than to your child, and arrange for extra tuition in certain subjects if needed. And a word about academic expectations: try not to set them too high as this will only add to your child’s stress, and never downplay the fact that schoolwork is hard. If your child is having trouble with a cer tain subject, let them know this is totally acceptable, not something to feel bad about. You can’t stress this enough. Emphasis that students are not supposed to understand everything straight away – that’s why there are teachers and study guides and services like tutors. Children need to know that it might take a couple of goes for them to review new content before it sticks, and that’s fine. Practical support includes involving yourself in your children’s schoolwork and helping when you can, while encouraging them to study with friends. Bear in mind that everyone in your child’s year group is in the same boat, and so are their families. Students all get the same lessons and sit the same exams. Knowing they’re not alone can be a comfort to children, and to bring this home you should encourage them to spend time with fellow students outside school. Last but not least, take time to listen to your children and discuss their day at school and any issues they may have. While grades and homework are important, it is essential that you express holistic interest in your child. This means asking about their social life, extra-curricular activities and how they like their teachers. Your goal is to help your children implement self-care from a young age. Going back to school doesn’t have to be scary. There are endless ways to support kids through the transition. It’s impor tant to draw on their strengths, and encourage them to see how incredible they truly are. Start each week on a positive note and also give your child something to look forward to. Plan to spend quality time together at the weekend, or suggest a sleepover with friends.

ITS: ENSURING TUITION WORKS FOR YOU ITS Education Asia has been providing high quality, properly managed tuition for nearly 20 years with outstanding impacts. Online and hybrid options (starting 2012 using a bespoke virtual classroom platform) are offered alongside in-person sessions. Noting the pressures today’s students face to achieve ever-greater academic results, Danny Harrington, Founder and Managing Director of ITS says: “The good news is that properly directed tutorial support offers a relatively pain-free way to overcome the various learning and assessment obstacles. But it must be the right tutoring at the right time.” There is often a rush to sign up for tutoring at the beginning of the school year, but Danny encourages students not to be too hasty. “The start of an academic year is often a time for finding your feet, especially when you are starting a new subject or a new curriculum in a familiar one,” he says. “It is much better to take a month or two to properly assess whether you actually have a need for additional support.” At ITS, prospective students are given a consultation before enrolling, and trial lessons are available in each subject. “It is crucial to establish that you actually need what you think you need: directionless tutoring “for the sake of it” does not help in any way,” Danny says. “It demoralises both student and tutor and can be counter-productive. “You need to ensure flexibility,” Danny adds. “Sometimes you may only need a couple of hours to work out a particular problem or topic difficulty. Other times you may need longer term support which may transition from knowledge review and consolidation to skills needed for assessment.” To see what ITS has to offer, visit www.itseducation.asia . DBIS SIXTH FORM OPEN EVENT Discovery Bay International School (DBIS) is hosting an open event for prospective Year 12 students and their parents on August 22 at its Sixth Form campus in DB North Plaza. The event, which starts at 6pm, coincides with the launch of the school’s new Sixth Form scholarship programme. Registration is essential. To register, scan the QR code or visit www.dbis.edu.hk OUTSTANDING IB RESULTS AT ESF ESF students across Hong Kong achieved an average score of 36.1 in their IB exams this year – significantly higher than the global average of 30.2. Almost a third of ESF students scored 40 points or more – eight students achieved the perfect score of 45, with a further 28 receiving a score of 44. ESF Discovery College deserves a special mention with 66 students awarded the IB Diploma (including bilingual). Sixteen students scored 40 points or more, three gained 43 points and two 44. On results day, July 7, ESF Director of Strategy & Communications Rob Shorthouse said: “In every single one of our schools and every single one of our classrooms, we have seen students achieving amazing things. Our results are just remarkable, really of global significance.” To find out more, visit esf.edu.hk ENRICHMENT PROGRAMMES AT GUIDEPOST MONTESSORI Guidepost Montessori Discovery Bay is rolling out three new enrichment programmes this month for children aged 2.5 to 6 years. There’s Mini Makers on Monday afternoons, where kids get to make things; Montessori Garden on Tuesday or Thursday afternoons, where kids get to grow things; and Montessori Kitchen on Wednesday or Friday afternoons, where kids get to cook things. Book a trial for your child and if they enrol after the trial, they can claim a free class credit. Children who enrol in two or more enrichment programmes get a 5% discount, as do kids who “bring a buddy”. To find out more and enrol for the new academic year, call 9126 6211, email admissions@guidepost.hk, or visit www.guidepost.hk MALVERN COLLEGE HONG KONG CELEBRATES FIVE YEARS OF EXCELLENCE Malvern College Hong Kong (MCHK) has reached a significant milestone, celebrating five years of exceptional academic and extra-curricular achievements since opening in 2018. The school has built a reputation for excellence in fields, from sports to the Arts and community service and has become a highly regarded institution with a student body of nearly 1,000 pupils. The results achieved last month by its first ever International Baccalaureate Diploma cohort are a testament to the school’s commitment to academic excellence. Pupils achieved an outstanding overall average score of 39.4 points, well above the world average of 30.24 points. Even more remarkable, 50% of pupils scored 40 points or higher, with the highest individual score being 44 out of 45. Furthermore, 50% of pupils earned the Bilingual Diploma, and the average grade across all subjects was 6.14, significantly higher than the 2022 world average of 4.97. The school’s dedication to holistic education is reflected in its commitment to extra-curricular and co-curricular pursuits. MCHK offers a diverse range of activities that foster a strong sense of camaraderie and team spirit amongst its pupils. The recently instituted Passion for Projects Award celebrates pupils who have demonstrated exceptional entrepreneurial skills and have successfully established business or charitable organisations. In tandem with the Entrepreneurial Society, which supports younger pupils in cultivating their entrepreneurial talents and initiatives, the school seeks to create an environment that nurtures innovation and enterprise. Having achieved many significant accomplishments over the past five years, MCHK is now looking to the future with the greatly anticipated arrival, of its new headmaster, Paul Wickes. Paul will continue the tradition of excellence in both academics and personal development and will build on the solid foundation that has been laid, ensuring that MCHK will further solidify its reputation as a leading educational institution.