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Paving the way for other kids to say “Yes” to fine dining, nine-year-old DB food blogger Catrin Price is busy eating her way ‘around the world in 80 bites.’ She takes Elizabeth Kerr on a culinary adventure. Photo by Baljit Gidwani   “It is like a fresh food market. Two Japanese guys sit in the middle and barbeque meat and fish on coal and pass them on a paddle to you. I like the wagyu beef skewers best.” That’s how nine-year-old food blogger Catrin Price describes the scene at Robataya, a trendy robatayaki eatery in Tokyo known for its daily menu and almost interactive dining experience. Catrin’s succinct, no-fuss review is the perfect reflection of the restaurant – and of Catrin herself. Sitting at Fuel in ifc early in Hong Kong’s re-emergence from its self-imposed COVID-19 exile, Catrin’s decked out in fuzzy Ugg sandals (yes, those are a thing) and a light summer dress. She fidgets like a preteen. Her eyes wander to two boys noisily playing at Avengers in the middle of the mall; she seems vaguely focused on an upcoming online round of Roblox with friends. But she’s just as succinct when describing why she started a food blog. “I like food. We need to eat and some foods are just really good.” That’s an understatement, as is Catrin’s introduction to her blog, mini-miche.com. “I noticed that there are not many kids on the internet blogging about food. Which seemed to be a shame!” A shame, perhaps, but not surprising if the hordes of parents trying to get picky kids to eat spinach is anything to go by. Catrin is firmly outside the norm on that front, something mum, Austrian native Nina (who works for a candy company), is as pleased with as she is proud of Catrin’s cultural hobby. The culture vulture Born in the UK, the only child of Nina and Welsh insurance pro Matt (who’s vegetarian), Catrin has lived in Discovery Bay for seven of her nine years, and considers it home. “Every summer we go to Austria, and my grandparents from Wales come here every October,” she says. “We normally go to Vienna but I like Hong Kong more. I like Chinese culture. It’s interesting.” A true culture vulture, Catrin also likes languages. “I like learning them and understanding what people are saying. I don’t know yet if it helps me understand the place,” she comments, after being forced to admit she already speaks varying degrees of English, Cantonese, German and Mandarin. Indeed, Catrin does the ordering in Chinese restaurants when out with her parents – much to the delight of the wait staff. (She attended S.K.H. Wei Lun Primary School in DB – hence her Cantonese – before starting at Malvern College in Tai Po last year.) A fan of dumplings, egg tarts and custard buns, one of the local restaurants Catrin rates is Yum Cha in Central. “It’s a really fun Cantonese restaurant,” she says on her blog. “All the dumplings have fun special designs and cute faces. I really love the design, but they also taste really good. My all-time favourite are the dumplings with egg custard – yummy! You can even book a cooking class and make your own dumplings.” Like many people who blog about food – and review restaurants – Catrin is also a keen cook, and, with Malvern College closed since Chinese New Year, she’s had plenty of time to experiment in the kitchen… and blog about it: “Kaiserschmarren is a fluffy pancake pulled into pieces. It is an Austrian dish. It was the Emperor’s favourite dessert. You eat it with roasted plum or apple or berries and it tastes scrumptious. You can also just eat it with some jam. It is soft and sweet, mmmmm… it is sooo good. This time I tried to cook it all by myself and it turned out delicious!” Hearing a primary school kid talk about getting excited over any kind of food that doesn’t involve McDonald’s is music to the ears. But Catrin is entirely nine years old in plenty of other ways. She’s got two cats, Fluffy and Bubbles. For fun she reads, swims, plays field hockey and goes kayaking. Of course there’s Roblox with friends, and selected television. “I like The Final Table, but I prefer Supergirl and The Flash. Superhero stuff,” she says. Blogging around the world Catrin’s blog, subtitled ‘Around the world in 80 bites’ (and created with a bit of help from former Around DB designer Andrew Spires), is a work in progress. She’s challenged herself to eat in the world’s best restaurants and review the experience. She doesn’t read other food blogs, nor does she have a Michelin Guide, the dining bible her blog’s name was inspired by (she’s the ‘mini’ part). But she is nonetheless well on her way, with nine countries, including Hong Kong, Shanghai, Cape Town, Salzburg and Auckland, already represented on the site. Catrin’s capsule reviews are broken down by date entry or city, and a quick scroll reveals a pattern, chiefly a preference for restaurants that lean to the engaging and adventurous, or are simply indulgences. She likes to watch the chef prepare the food. And, she’s got highly developed taste buds for a kid her age. “I like oysters. I eat as many as I can. They’re so tasty, and the texture is great when they’re soft and creamy. I prefer them raw,” she says, laughing when faced with an, “Eww, gross,” from this writer. On top of personal favourites – steak and seafood – that make choosing a family dinner tricky for Matt, Catrin likes caviar. And dark chocolate. And blue cheese. “I like to try new things,” she says. Funnily enough, Catrin’s not crazy about tomatoes (she’s nine years old remember). “There are some vegetables – peas, mushrooms, broccoli, cauliflower – that I like, but I don’t like tomatoes,” she states. Unless they’re puréed on a Margherita pizza of course. So what makes a restaurant reviewworthy? It comes down to whether it was a memorable experience; Catrin has no time for slam reviews. “I try to write about the special ones. For example, I wouldn’t write a review for Pizza Express. But if it’s something like Aqua that’s another story… A really memorable one is La Colombe. We had a tasting menu which starts when you enter; they take you to a small tree with little eggs that are sour but also sweet. Then you get chocolate twigs. It’s amazing.” So far, Catrin has also taken a particular liking to the Michelin-starred Amber (yes, the one at the Landmark Mandarin Oriental you haven’t been to), The Chinese Library in Tai Kwun, The Twins in Shanghai (for the oysters, natch), and the aforementioned Robataya in Tokyo, where she got a chance to pound mochi. Adults paying the bills may need a bit more detail from a restaurant review, but Catrin speaks to her audience, and in an ocean of grandiloquent food writing her approach is hugely refreshing.  Here’s one last example: “If you are ever in Sydney and visit Bondi Beach, I recommend breakfast at Trio. They have lots of dishes some with a Middle Eastern twist like Shashouka. Tomato sauce with eggs and spices. Australia has just the most amazing breakfasts!!! The portions at Trio are gigantic and the food tastes delicious. My favourite is French Toast with Nutella – it is just to die for!” At nine Catrin is hardly ready to set a career path, but right now she thinks she’d like to do something with food for a job. “I like travelling and I like to cook. I think I’m pretty good at it,” she finishes. “But I like eating better.”

The new publisher of Bay Media sits down with Rachel Ainsley to discuss the value of community news, the power of advertising and his plans for the future Philip Jay has the gift of the gab. He can talk nonstop for 57 minutes, barely pausing to take a breath. I know this because I just timed him. That’s fine by me – he’s answered my questions without my having to ask them – he clearly knows what he’s about. And he comes across as driven, funny, open and surprisingly self-deprecating; I like his energy. This is also fine by me because Philip’s my new boss – he took over as the publisher of Bay Media in February. Trusting my first impressions and having had a good look at Philip’s resume, it seems to me that Bay Media, and by extension the communities it serves,are in good hands.Philip has 35+ years publishing experience across community and trade magazines. And that’s all in Hong Kong. Here are some highlights: Publisher and founder, Jewish Times Asia (2006 to present); managing director, Localiiz.com (2018 to 2015); senior business development director, SingTao/ Standard Newspaper Group (HK) (2003 to 2005); founder and managing director, Technology News Asia (2000 to 2003); general manager, Thomson Financial Publishing (1997 to 2000). “What I’m good at is seeing a connection. I see advertisers around an editorial idea and then, if I’m convinced it will work, I get the right people to write it and the right people to sell it,” Philip says. “You need a good pitch and a good line of patter in this business, then you hire people to cover your own inadequacies. It also helps if you have a knack for being in the right place at the right time.” It’s clear that Philip took over Bay Media at an… interesting time (more on that later), so what drew him to the business and to Around DB specifically? Plans for Bay Media “I’m struck by the strength, the positivity and the inclusiveness of the DB community, and I think Around DB reflects that,” Philip says. “Given its location and energised spirit, we are in a fantastic position to continue to progress and move forward. It’s a great magazine and I am immensely proud to be picking up the baton. “Around DB is editorially driven and it serves the community well; I always get great feedback on the content, so while I’d like to refine it a bit, and make it bigger and better, there’s not much I want to change. Fundamentally, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Jewish Times Asia, which Philip founded in 2006, was Asia’s first community tabloid, and though it’s on hold temporarily, there’s a definite parallel with Around DB. “I understand the value of community news,” Philip says. “People really enjoy it, and they take it in more than general news. It’s good to see people you know and can relate to in a magazine.” Philip describes himself as “an old-fashioned publisher; a traditional print man,” but he’s also the man who transformed Localiiz.com from an A to Z of small businesses (a glorified telephone directory), into one of Hong Kong’s most popular social-media sites. Needless to say, he has big plans for Bay Media’s online presence. “We have 40,000+ visitors to our website every month, and we have a very active Facebook presence with 18,000+ followers, so there’s a lot of potential there,” he says. “I plan to expand our digital reach. The more online communication the better, not just for followers and influencers but also for advertisers. We need to provide more tailor- made marketing campaigns that reach our unique readership, with split print/ digital opportunities for clients.” As for Life on Lantau, Philip’s again looking to go bigger. “I’m aiming to build up Life on Lantau over the next two to three years, and transfer some of Around DB’s strengths to it,” he says. “It needs its own website and I’d like to boost the content to focus on all the different Lantau districts. In fact, there might be room for two separate magazines – one for Mui Wo and one for Tung Chung. “Bay Media already brings out Best of Lantau twice a year and I plan to build on that by introducing more guides,” Philip adds. “A guide for tourists focused on nature and hiking; a property publication; a F&B guide; a directory of Lantau businesses… I want more out of the landscape. Maybe a magazine for Cheung Chau, and for the other outlying islands.” Last but not least, Philip plans to increase the Bay Media Design Studio vision. “From logos, leaflets and company brochures, to book publishing and website creation, we’re in a position to help all businesses,” he says.  “BayMedia Design Studio provides an important service. It’s another aspect of the business that I want to see develop and grow.” Family matters Before we get into the in and outs of the February takeover, I ask Philip about his family. “My wife’s name? It’s Marilyn. As in Marilyn Monroe,” he says, without missing a beat. “We met in Hong Kong in the early ‘90s when we were in our early 30s. It was love at first sight. On my side anyway. Marilyn played hard to get. She didn’t give me her phone number and I had to wait well over a month to see her again. In life you have to be patient, especially when you are picking your life partner. We are celebrating 20 years of marriage this year.” Philip’s kids Joshua Jay, 16 and Jessica Jay, 14, share the nickname JJ. “Names that are short and sharp appeal to people, which is one of the reasons I called my first Hong Kong venture Philip Jay Publishing,” he says. “That and the fact that people need to know you first if you’re going to sell to them. But back to the kids: I wanted them to have names that roll off the tongue and are easy to remember. Everyone wants a JJ on their team; JJs don’t get teased in the playground.” The family lives in Clear Water Bay and it takes four trains and a bus to get Philip to DB every day. “I’m the person with Hong Kong’s longest commute, I wouldn’t do that if I wasn’t passionate about Bay Media,” he quips. And moving to DB is not on the cards at present. “My wife works for a shipping company in Kowloon Bay and the kids are nearing the end of their IB , so it would be difficult to relocate in the short term,” he says. “We live in a small house in a quiet village, there are dogs and birds and it’s very scenic. I need that to think. “What’s important is that I already feel connected to DB, I work here. I’m here every day,” Philip adds. “Having an office in DB is a breath of fresh air after having worked in Central for so long. There’s no smog, very little pollution; everyone’s very welcoming and there’s a strong community spirit.” The takeover Philip has been commuting to DB since October last year, when he was hired as general manager, by then publisher Corinne Jedwood Rechter, to oversee the day-to-day workings of Bay Media. “Corinne had been commuting back and forth from California for a couple of years, and from Israel before that, and she was beginning to feel the strain,” he explains. “Within a month or two of my coming onboard everything was running more efficiently, and she was visiting less and less. In February, she told me she wanted to move away from the business; she wanted to make a clean, quick break and she asked if I wanted to step in. “Corinne’s so happy to have someone to keep Bay Media going,” Philip adds. “She doesn’t have to worry about her staff, her clients, or the community.” That’s all well and good but who in their right minds (sorry Philip) would decide to take over a business four months ago, right when the COVID-19 outbreak was really starting to kick in? “I’ve never experienced anything like this – SARS was a short sharp shock by comparison – this one could be a year,” Philip admits. “But you have to be proactive even in the worst financial times. We need longevity and patience – we need to be strong, tough and resilient. Hopefully then we’ll all survive. To keep Bay Media afloat, we’re 100% relying on people, on the community. If people still like reading the magazines and seeing themselves in them, and if advertisers stay with us, the long-term prospects are fantastic. “I’m staying positive,” Philip concludes with a grin. “I look forward to going to work every day, to seeing the new issues come out and to getting advertising for people.”

How we communicate with our children is key to helping them develop unconditional self-love. Joanne Hay reveals how we can foster self-esteem and resilience in our kids. Photo by Baljit Gidwani The digital age has opened us up to a whole new world. Social media creates unrealistic personal, social and lifestyle expectations, which can cause low self-esteem and feelings of loneliness and anxiety. Now, more than ever, is a time for us to teach our children important concepts of self-love in order for them to appreciate their own worth, accept themselves for who they are, and feel confident, just as they are. It’s never too soon for children to learn to love and accept themselves, empathise with others, have an open mind and so on. Here are some ways we can teach our children these all important concepts. Be a role model Kids learn from watching the people around them, so we need to lead by example. We need to be mindful about what we say in front of them.  For instance, if we constantly complain about being overweight, how can we expect our children to accept their bodies?  The other day, my daughter, Skye, asked me to draw a unicorn and I mumbled, “Oh, I am not very good at drawing,” and she immediately corrected me by saying, “No Mummy, you are the best and I love you.”  The truth is, I wasn’t even aware I was putting myself down. Now I am more mindful about how I self-talk in front of my children, which in turn, helps me boost my own self-esteem. What’s important is that we foster not just self-love but self-acceptance in our children.  It is inevitable for kids to compare themselves to others because, in all fairness, adults do it all the time. A day will come when they realise other kids have more toys, newer phones, cooler shoes and bigger houses, and their selfesteem will be put to the test. We need to teach them to accept and embrace who they are. As an example, my daughter used to have a hard time with her hair; it’s beautiful but unruly and she hated having it brushed. Now though, we compare her hair to a lion’s mane and she shouts, “I love my crazy hair!” Be present Have you ever spoken to someone and have them nod or even simply ignore you, while mindlessly scrolling through their phones? How did that make you feel? Annoyed? Hurt? Invisible? Children need to grow up with a sense of belonging and significance, so we must pay attention to them and listen to them. I read somewhere: “If you don’t listen to the little things when they are little, they won’t tell you the big things when they are big.” This really scared me. I realised that when my daughter showed me her artwork, I used to thank her and immediately put it to one side. Now, I excitedly ask her to tell me about her drawings and the concept behind them. I listen to every word she says very carefully. Be empathetic To understand how our children feel, we need to try to see the world from their perspective. For example, when they fall down and graze a knee, we should refrain from saying, “You’re okay! Don’t cry, it doesn’t hurt that much.” Although we might have good intentions, this type of response invalidates their feelings and suppresses their emotions. One time when my daughter fell off her scooter, I said to her, “It’s okay to cry. Mummy cries when she falls hard!” Skye was really surprised and said, “Really? You cry too?” “Of course,” I said. “If it really hurts. But what matters is we get up again, and we keep trying!” Skye immediately got up, wiped away her tears and hopped back on her scooter. Be positive We need to avoid criticising our children, especially in public, as it can be traumatising – it can make them feel ashamed and worthless. Instead of scolding them, we can choose to empower them by implementing positive discipline techniques. Remember there are no bad kids, just bad behaviours. For instance, instead of hurting your children’s egos by telling them they are untidy, say,“I would like you to tidy your room.” Rather than focusing on what your children did wrong, show them how to set things right. Be strong Don’t think that because you’re a parent, you don’t have to apologise, or that to do so would be a sign of weakness. It’s crucial to show children that it’s okay to make mistakes, and that we all need to find the courage within ourselves to say sorry in order to find a way to move forward. When your children have done something wrong and say they are sorry, talk about their motivations and the impact their behaviour has had on others.  But most importantly, remember to tell them,“I forgive you.” If our children feel safe and unconditionally loved, they will not be afraid to tell the truth. If they are brought up to be honest about their feelings, thoughts and behaviours, they will grow into empowered adults. It won’t happen overnight but if we define the values that are important to us, we can model them and share them with our kids. The first step is to recognise that we need to accept our children for who they are, so they can learn to love and accept themselves.

The recipes that are handed down to us tend to be the ones we revisit the most. Which of these classics will you cook up to commemorate Mother’s Day? Noodle Soup Serves 6 • 1 chicken • 3.15l water • 2tbsp mixed herbs, chopped • 1 small leek, chopped • 1 small cabbage, chopped • 4 sticks celery, halved • 1 large onion, chopped • 450g carrots, chopped • 110g peas • 110g egg vermicelli For the stock, cut the chicken into 8 pieces and put it (and the giblets) in a saucepan with the water. Cover, bring to the boil and simmer gently for 5 minutes, skimming off any surface scum. Add the herbs and all the vegetables except the carrots and peas. Simmer gently for 1.5 hours. Remove the chicken and separate the meat from the bone, reserving it for the soup. Cover the stock and simmer for a further 30 minutes. Discard the vegetables. Chill the stock overnight, and remove the solid fat that forms on the surface. Transfer to a large saucepan, cover, bring to the boil and add the carrots. Season and simmer for 15 minutes. Cut the chicken into bitesize pieces. Add the chicken, peas and egg vermicelli and cook for about 5 minutes. Mac 'n' Cheese Serves 4 • 300g cauliflower florets • 300g dried macaroni • 90g butter • 4tbsp plain flour • 2tsp English mustard powder • 600ml milk • 100g mature cheddar cheese, grated • 100g Lancashire cheese, crumbled • 100g Cheshire cheese, crumbled • 3tbsp fresh white breadcrumbs • 1tbsp thyme leaves Cook the cauliflower and macaroni in boiling, salted water until al dente. Drain, and fold in 30g butter. Preheat the oven to 200ºC. Heat the remaining butter in a pan and stir in the flour and mustard powder. Gradually add the milk stirring continuously until the mixture is smooth. Bring to the boil over a low heat stirring frequently until the roux thickens. Season well. Combine the cheeses and add half to the sauce, stirring until the cheese has melted and the sauce is smooth again, Add the macaroni and cauliflower and mix well to coat. Place the mixture in a large gratin dish. Combine the remaining cheeses with the breadcrumbs and thyme. Sprinkle over the macaroni mixture. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes. Spag Bol Serves 4 • 1 large onion, chopped • 2 sticks celery, chopped • 2 cloves garlic, diced • 5 slices streaky bacon, chopped • 2tbsp olive oil • 400g mince • 1 15-oz tin chopped tomatoes • 1 medium carrot, diced • 1 vegetable stock cube, grated • 1tbsp oregano • 400g spaghetti Gently fry the onion, celery, garlic and bacon in the olive oil until golden. Turn up the heat, add the mince and fry, stirring well until  browned all over. Stir in the tinned tomatoes, diced carrot and grated stock cube. Add the oregano and a splash of red wine (optional). Put a lid on the saucepan and simmer gently for 30 minutes. Cook the spaghetti in boiling, salted water until al dente. Drain and combine with the meat mixture. Season well, and sprinkle with parmesan cheese and fresh oregano to serve.

Enraptured by the Byzantine and the Ottoman, the Bosporus and the bazaars, Dorothy Veitch invites you on a day tour of Sultanahmet. 1 The Bosporus Located on both sides of the Bosporus, the narrow strait between the Black Sea and the Marmara Sea, Istanbul is the only city in the world which is situated on two continents; it bridges Asia and Europe both physically and culturally. Hop on a Bosporus boat cruise to get your first glimpse of its awesome Byzantine and Ottoman landmarks. 2. Sultanahmet Istanbul was the Byzantine capital of the Eastern Roman Empire, (consecrated by Constantine the Great, hence its former name: Constantinople), until the Ottomans captured it in 1453. With its long history at the centre of empires, it offers a wealth of sites to take in. To view the most fabled of these ancient monuments head to Sultanahmet on the city’s European side. 3 The Hippodrome Start at the Hippodrome, the centre of Byzantine life for 1,000 years and of Ottoman life for another 400 years after that. The Roman emperors loved nothing more than an afternoon at the chariot races, and this rectangular arena was their venue of choice. In its heyday, it was decorated with obelisks and statues, some of which remain today. Recently re-landscaped, the Hippodrome remains one of the city’s most popular meeting places and promenades. 4 Sultan Ahmed Mosque Next stop, the Sultan Ahmed Mosque (Blue Mosque) complex. Built from 1609 to 1616, during the rule of Ahmed I, the courtyard is the biggest of all of the Ottoman mosques and there are six minarets. The interior is equally grand: The blue tiles that give the building its unofficial name number in the tens of thousands, there are 260 windows and the central prayer space is huge. 5 Topkapi Palace Majestic Topkapi Palace, a short walk from the Blue Mosque, showcases the untold wealth of the Ottoman rulers who lived here between 1453 and 1839. Highlights include the six-level harem and the treasury (home to the 86-carat Spoonmaker’s Diamond). The palace’s interiors dazzle with their hand-painted Iznik tiles, stained glass windows, and mother-of-pearl and tortoise-shell inlays. 6 The Hagia Sophia Built in 537 by the emperor Justinian to showcase the might of his reconquered Empire, the Hagia Sophia is one of Istanbul’s best-known Byzantine landmarks. It reigned supreme as the greatest church in Christendom until 1453, when Sultan Mehmed II converted it into a mosque. It has been a museum since 1935. Thanks to its weighty dome and towering minarets, Lonely Planet lists the Hagia Sophia as one of the 10 most beautiful buildings in the world. 7 Basilica Cistern Basilica Cistern, the largest of several hundred ancient cisterns that lie beneath the city, once held 80,000 cubic metres of water, pumped and delivered through a 20-kilometre web of aqueducts. Constructed in 532, using columns and plinths from ruined buildings, it’s as grand in design as it is in scale. Two columns in the north-western corner are supported by Medusa heads, and the central column is shaped like a teardrop. 8 The Grand Bazaar A visit to the Grand Bazaar rounds off a bewitching day in Sultanahmet. Constructed in 1461, it boasts 5,000 shops, and is one of the largest covered markets in the world. Beckoning sellers peddle exquisite textiles, pottery, rugs, jewellery, lanterns and other Turkish delights. Bartering is an absolute must.

Connecting over the phone with three-year DB resident Raewyn McBain, Elizabeth Kerr discovers that the inspirational CEO of Pink Tiger Media is also a dab hand at feng shui Attention to detail is incredibly important to me,” says Raewyn McBain, on the phone from Penang where she’s currently holed up with her daughter Vanessa. No, she’s not hiding from COVID-19 (you can’t) but with Pink Tiger Media’s Global Development Centre in the city, it was an easy enough decision to stay after the Lunar New Year holiday, and after all the schools in Hong Kong shut down. It means her husband, John, has to commute from DB every week, but that’s life for the foreseeable future. Raewyn, though, is clearly not the type who would be swayed from a face-to-face meeting in the plaza were she in town. That much is obvious, even across a telephone line. She’s not reckless but she’s obviously fearless, and unlike too many women she’s unafraid to detail her accomplishments. If a man did it, we wouldn’t even be mentioning it. She’s not arrogant, just factual. “In terms of who and what I am, I think there’s a strong interaction between my business, my personality, my position as a woman CEO and my interest in Chinese metaphysics. It’s created an expressive person,” Raewyn says. “I am driven and passionate about both my personal and work life. I love how Benjamin Franklin phrases it: ‘It is the working man who is the happy man. It is the idle man who is the miserable man.’” Tiger lady A native New Zealander, born in the wine country (Hawke’s Bay), Raewyn moved first to New York for two years, before heading to London during its 1980s’ heyday. She lived there for 12 years, working as a journalist for Dow Jones, an experience she remembers vividly. “What I went through in the late ’80s and early ’90s, well no one can wind me up now,” she scoffs of the days of the so-called long lunch. Sexism was (more) rampant, and degrading nicknames were par for the course. It was a lifetime before the advent of movements like #Time’sUp. “I remember once having a job interview for a major multinational and my headhunter said, ‘Raewyn, you’ve worn trousers to your two interviews. Maybe if you wore a dress?’ You couldn’t get away with that today. And those trousers were Giorgio Armani!” Needless to say, Raewyn wore trousers to work at Dow Jones, and she’s already preparing five-year- old Vanessa to wear them in her future career. International Women’s Day is an important date on the family’s calendar. Raewyn founded Pink Tiger Media in 1996, while still in London. Hong Kong became head office in 1998 when husband John visited to complete a two-week project, and couldn’t bring himself to leave. Feng Shui Practitioner “I arrived in Asia and basically fell in love with it,” Raewyn recalls. “When I was moving out here, people asked me what I was going to do. I made a flip remark about studying feng shui, making light. But when I got here and fell in love with the place – the culture, the energy, the dim sum; it just worked. It’s my favourite city in the world. What’s interesting now is that having studied feng shui, and gotten past the frustration and urge to chuck my books off the ferry, it’s just something I incorporate into my day. I love the balance.” Raewyn gained her Feng Shui Practitioner diploma while studying under Grand Master Raymond Lo, Hong Kong’s celebrated ‘Feng Shui Lo.’ Like many of us, Raewyn was first drawn to feng shui because of the stories about Hong Kong’s buildings – that many of them are designed to maximise sheng chi (positive energy). She was fascinated by the logic behind this. “Feng shui is an ancient Chinese art and science of aligning the flow of chi within a building to tap into good fortune. It is neither magic or spiritual, it requires judgement, skill and precise interpretation.When the natural forces of chi are balanced in our homes or  workplaces, the occupants will have a more harmonious, healthy and prosperous environment. Its effects can be immediate and powerful.” Raewyn embodies Hong Kong's work-hard-play-hard attitude Pink Tiger Media CEO You could say balance is in Pink Tiger Media’s DNA, or perhaps it’s the natural reaction to a decadeand- a-half on the other side of the media coin. A full-service agency specialising in financial services and technology through six solution offerings, including public relations, visual media and integrated marketing campaigns, Pink Tiger Media was partially a response to what Raewyn calls “bad advertising.” Regardless of whether or not we like it, ads are ingrained in the media landscape, and their use has changed since the art was formed in the mid- 20th century. “You can’t just do a graphic or write some copy and put it out,” argues Raewyn, who gets riled at just the idea of those familiar – and ghastly – MTR ads that line escalators. “Oh god, they’re awful and you’re quite right. Standing on an escalator and looking at some of those ads, all you can think is ‘What were they thinking?’ And typos!” she laments. “That’s people not caring and a lack of attention to detail. It’s crazy. In some cases, I wonder if it’s down to budget but that doesn’t hold water anymore. They haven’t looked at what they’re trying to say.” And therein lies the mission. Advertising is about messaging, and Pink Tiger Media – a Golden Globe Tigers award-winner for brand excellence in the banking and financial service sector – sets itself apart for its ability to cut through the noise and get the message right. “In Hong Kong, you always have a slightly different message from one in the US or Europe. I have a number of clients whose headquarters did a graphic or a social-media message, and quite often we’ll have to tweak it. You can’t use the same message or visuals here. You just can’t.” DB-based mum In addition to the Penang office, Raewyn operates in Singapore, Central and now DB, where she’s lived with her family for the past three years. Having children was something she and John “never got around to” until three years ago, when they adopted a girl locally. “Vanessa is an amazing little girl who copies Mummy’s every mannerism; she has filled my life with love and laughter,” Raewyn says. “John and I micromanaged a range of medical issues: 23 food allergies, and lung and sight problems all related to Vanessa being three months premature, which I relate to having also been three months premature. Mummy’s cuddle-and-kiss shop is open 24 hours a day. “It’s important that women, even from a young age, grow up with a sense of self. They shouldn’t be living someone else’s life,” Raewyn adds, with reference to her daughter, but throwing the idea out in general. Raewyn herself learnt that the hard way. “I went off to boarding school at a fairly young age and absolutely detested it,” she says with a slight chuckle. “I tried everything I could not to go back, but sadly it didn’t work. It  gave me a strong character and I think it set me up for travel and all that came with it.” Vanessa attends Discovery Mind Primary School, and the family relish the DB lifestyle. “It’s changed since we first lived here in 2010. It’s now much more for business as well, and the fact we have a five-year-old helps. There are places for Vanessa to run around and ride her bike, and she can walk to school. When schools are open,” Raewyn says with a laugh. She describes the pleasantness of looking at ocean on one side and mountains on the other when on global conference calls. Pink Tiger Media’s agile, technology-based business model makes it easier to ride out storms like COVID-19. For Raewyn, with crisis comes opportunity, and in “everything-can-happen” Hong Kong, she’s confident about the future and her place in it. “I’m a maximalist at heart,” she finishes. “I have ridiculous drive – which I wish I could slow down.” Why stop now? After all, ‘Feel the Rush’ is Pink Tiger Media’s tagline.

Stuck for something fun to do with the kids on Easter Sunday? Why not get them to craft an egg-cellent centrepiece for your table, while you fry up a quick Mexican-inspired brunch The eggs Makes 6 • 6 small bowls • 6tsp vinegar • 6tsp food colouring • 6 hard-boiled eggs • 12 rubber bands • 1 egg carton Fill the small bowls halfway with hot water, adding one teaspoon of vinegar and one teaspoon of food colouring, one for each colour you want to use. To dye an egg a solid colour, place in a bowl for five minutes. For a striped design, place rubber bands around an egg before dipping it. Remove the bands, and you’ll see stripes where the bands were. Once done, place the eggs in an empty egg carton to dry. The centrepiece Makes 1 • 1 paper bowl • Brown paint • 3 sheets brown paper • Glue • 12 flowers Paint the paper bowl with brown paint inside and out. Let the paint dry for 30 minutes before adding a second coat of brown paint. Next, cut a sheet of brown paper (or leftover wrapping paper) into thin shreds. Once the second coat of paint has dried, cover the bowl with glue inside and out. Stick the shredded paper, plus any twigs that you find outdoors, on to the bowl to create a comfortable nest. Fill the nest with more shredded paper, then nestle the eggs securely inside it. Decorate with fresh or dried flowers. The brunch Serves 2 • 15oz-can whole tomatoes • 1 medium onion, diced • 1 clove garlic, smashed • 1 jalapeno pepper, sliced • 4oz coriander leaves, chopped • 5oz chorizo, diced • 4 corn tortillas • 16oz-can refried beans • 4 large eggs • 1 avocado, diced • 3oz strong cheese, crumbled • 4tbsp sour cream To make two delicious servings of huevos rancheros, purée the tomatoes, onion, garlic, jalapeno and half the coriander. Gently simmer until slightly thickened. Cover and keep warm. Brown the chorizo, and add to the sauce. Fry the tortillas on each side until golden but not crisp. Heat the refried beans, spread on the tortillas. Fry the eggs, place one on each tortilla, and spoon the warm sauce over. Sprinkle with the avocado, cheese and additional coriander. Top with a dollop of sour cream.

Are you looking into boarding school options for your kids  in Asia Pacific? Sam Fisher suggests you start your search in New Zealand Finding the right school for your child is as big a job now as it has ever been, with options aplenty and the standard of education at an all-time high. Hong Kong’s international schools are regarded among the world’s best, but many families are excited by the benefits and indeed the stability an overseas boarding school education can bring. Overseas boarders get round-the-clock education and a built-in social life, and for expat kids, of course, being schooled in their ‘home country’ can be a tremendously grounding experience. If you have the wherewithal, and you want your child to be totally immersed in an educational environment, and/ or you have a busy career yourself, it’s clear that a full-time boarding school has much to offer. The top boarding schools provide children with a structured approach to both academic studies and extracurricular activities, with 24/7 access to sports and recreation facilities. There’s also social interaction with friends and peers of all ages, the opportunity to learn personal and social responsibility, zero travel time to school… safety and supervision. The question is where to start your search for a school… for many Hong Kong-based parents, New Zealand’s reputation for educational excellence, its stable political climate and laid-back outdoorsy culture makes it a first port of call. A sheltered environment Even more so than Hong Kong, New Zealand provides a sheltered environment for children to live and grow. It’s a slow-paced, primarily rural haven in which old-world values are still prioritised. Pack a Hong Kong kid off to boarding school in sleepy Auckland (population 1.6 million) and he’s not going to experience the culture shock, he’s not going to feel as lost, as he would if he suddenly found himself in bustling New York City (population 8.6 million). For the most part, New Zealand’s top international boarding schools are scattered across the two main islands – the North and South islands – though some are found on the smaller islands, hundreds of miles from the main group. In terms of children’s security and wellbeing, New Zealand’s remoteness appeals to parents – it lies more than 1,600 kilometres southeast of Australia, its nearest neighbour. Importantly though for anxious parents and homesick kids, there’s a direct (11-hour) flight from Hong Kong to Auckland. Despite being so remote, New Zealand has a thriving culture, based around a handful of surprisingly cosmopolitan cities. Boarding in the vicinity of places like Christchurch, Wellington or Auckland is certain to extend a child’s life experience. What’s more, New Zealand is a land of great natural beauty. Mighty glacier lakes, gargantuan caves, verdant valleys, dazzling fjords, long sandy beaches and the  spectacular snow-capped peaks of the Southern Alps on the South Island – there is so much for children to experience and explore. A healthy, outdoorsy, pollution-free lifestyle beckons. Educational excellence Educational excellence is a key factor that attracts Hong Kong-based parents (and their kids) to boarding schools in New Zealand. The schools’ achievements are very transparent and therefore comparable. The fact that the majority now take part in international ranking systems spurs top academic standards. Boarders can choose from a huge variety of courses and curricula depending on their interests and dispositions. Moreover, students gain internationally recognised qualifications (for instance the International Baccalaureate Diploma) which enable them to goon to study at top universities all over the world. The leading New Zealand boarding schools tend to have not just great teachers but specialist facilities, meaning they are able to cater to children with abilities that are either above or below average. With small classes averaging 12 students, study hall hours, and access to teachers living on campus, boarders feel  the benefit and find they can excel inside the classroom and out. The favourable teacher-student ratio provides for optimal supervision and support; highly qualified staff create a positive learning atmosphere which likewise motivates students. The leading New Zealand boarding schools tend to have not just great teachers but specialist facilities, meaning they are able to cater to children with abilities that are either above or below average. With small classes averaging 12 students, study hall hours, and access to teachers living on campus, boarders feel the benefit and find they can excel inside the classroom and out. The favourable teacher-student ratio provides for optimal supervision and support; highly qualified staff create a positive learning atmosphere which likewise motivates students. Parents who are attracted to the New Zealand boarding school system value the sheer volume of academics, athletics and extracurricular activities on offer; they are also drawn to the wide range of schools available. While the jury is out about whether children benefit most from single-sex or co-ed schooling, both educational models are well represented within the New Zealand boarding school system. There is also a good selection of ‘faith schools’ that teach a general curriculum but which have a particular religious character or formal links with a religious- or faith-based organisation. Whole person development Boarding these days is about developing the whole person, and New Zealand boarding schools provide children with not just educational opportunities but a vital place to grow. Living and studying within a school community, boarders have access to top-notch sports, music and arts facilities, as well as academic societies. They get to socialise, and learn to cope independently alongside their peers, without leaving the school premises – and all of this happens under the watchful eye of teachers who are mentors, not helpers or babysitters. Surrounded by their peers from the moment they wake up till the second they fall asleep, the bonds of friendship that boarders develop are incredibly strong and often these relationships endure long into adult life. Boarders come to rely on their friends as they would their family, and they feel secure within such a tight-knit international community. Boarders learn to be self-disciplined in all areas, from personal hygiene to academic organisation. This prepares them for life in the adult world. The aim is for students to develop inter-cultural understanding, independence and a powerful sense of community. New Zealand boarding houses are well-managed with clear guidelines. Professional supervisors are on hand to help students succeed and thrive; catering teams accommodate any special dietary needs including religious, vegetarian and allergies. A high priority is placed on nutrition and students are encouraged to make healthy choices. Everything on campus is geared to students’ betterment and/ or enjoyment, and their needs are prioritised, which is not something all children, particularly those whose parents are busy with their own careers, get to experience at home. The opportunity to homestay One of the biggest criticisms that can be made of the boarding school system is that the influence family has on a young person’s life is compromised. Arguably, the best education happens when a student is benefiting from both a close-knit, supportive home environment and also an excellent school environment – and this is where many boarders miss out. Not so in New Zealand however, where the opportunity for students to ‘homestay’ is common to many schools. Homestay is a rewarding experience for overseas students since it allows them to become a part of a New Zealand family,with whom they live seven days a week. The Education (Pastoral Care of International Students) Code of Practice 2016 (including amendments 2019) requires schools to ensure that overseas students studying in New Zealand are safe and properly cared for.Therefore, students are required to live in school-approved homestays only. All homestay providers are police-vetted, and regularly monitored through home visits and interviews with students. In return for the constant hands-on support of their surrogate family, students are expected to help with minor chores, like setting the table and washing the dishes at mealtimes, making their beds and keeping their room clean and tidy. Could this be the home-away-from-home, you’re seeking for your kids?

Soup, salad and a dip… exactly what you need for a luxuriant light lunch, fresh from Lebanon. Serve at home with flatbread Sopa de Guisantes Serves 4 • 4tbsp olive oil • ½ medium onion, finely chopped • 1 medium carrot, finely chopped • 2 bay leaves • 2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced • 150g cured ham, finely chopped • 1 small bunch fresh mint, roughly chopped • 1ltr chicken stock • 500g peas, fresh or frozen • 2tbsp butter In a large saucepan, heat the oil over a medium heat, add the onion and when it has turned golden add the carrot and bay leaves. Continue to fry for 5 minutes stirring occasionally, then add the garlic, two thirds of the ham and half the mint. Fry gently for 3 minutes, before adding the stock and then the peas. Stir in a knob of butter. Simmer gently until the peas are tender about 5 minutes. Blitz the peas and stock in a liquidiser until smooth. Return to the pan, season and garnish with the remaining ham and mint. Fattoush Serves 4 • 2 pitta bread • 25g butter • 1 garlic clove • 1 lemon • 1tsp za’tar, ground • 5tbsp olive oil • ½ large cucumber, sliced • 12 ripe cherry tomatoes, halved • 1 small lettuce, chopped • 1 spring onion, finely chopped • 6 radishes, cut into quarters • 1 celery stick, chopped • 1 small bunch each fresh mint and parsley To make the crispbread, slice open the pittas and brush with melted butter on both sides. Bake the pitta halves for about 15 minutes at 180ºC. Leave to cool. To make the dressing, combine the garlic (crushed to a paste with ½tsp salt and the juice of 1 lemon), the ground za’tar (or thyme) and the olive oil. About 8 minutes before you are ready to serve the salad, combine the crispbread, vegetables and chopped herbs in a large salad bowl, breaking up the crispbread in your hands as you go. The crispbread pieces should be about the same size as the chopped vegetables. Now add the dressing and toss well. Season and add more lemon juice to taste. Baba Ghanoush Serves 4 to 6 • 3 large aubergines (750g to 1kg) • 2 garlic cloves • 1 lemon • 3tbsp tahini paste • 4tbsp olive oil Pierce the skins of the aubergines and grill whole over a hot barbeque, directly on the naked flame of a gas hob or under the grill until the skin is charred and crispy all over and the flesh is very soft. Leave to cool. Discard the tops and peel off the skin. Place the flesh and any juices in a large mixing bowl and whisk until almost smooth. Next, crush the garlic to a paste with 1tsp salt and the juice of 1 lemon. Add the garlic paste, tahini and olive oil to the aubergines and season to taste. Garnish with chopped parsley or pomegranate seeds.

By Angie Todd Life as an expat can be exciting but also challenging, particularly in relation to family matters. As a family lawyer working with international clients, I often advise my expat clients on the international aspects of family law. The issues that arise for separating spouses across borders can be many and varied. The issues can range from assessing the appropriate child maintenance award when the child is living abroad, understanding the tax implications for the sale and transfer of assets held offshore, valuing property held in a foreign jurisdiction or how property and parenting orders made in Hong Kong can be enforced and upheld in a foreign land. Whilst those are some of the potential issues that arise when a relationship fails, the cross-border issues that arise during the negotiations for a cross-border pre-nuptial agreement, when couples are not in conflict and are working towards a common end, can be just as complex. So how can these issues be navigated? These days it is not uncommon for couples to have a footprint in two or three different places as many couples have lived and worked across the global hot spots of London, New York, Sydney and Hong Kong, leaving a footprint in each place. Along the way, these couples may have acquired a property when they were living in Sydney, hold a pension from when they were living in London and the children may have been born abroad. When there is such a global footprint, it is essential to understand how family law applies in each place and how that place may also treat foreign court orders; as those outcomes might be different. In addition to differing financial outcomes, such differences can include how and when a party can obtain a divorce and where the children shall live and how to regulate the time that they spend with each parent. It can save a good deal of time and cost if the differences in the laws of Hong Kong and the foreign place are understood at the outset so that a decision can be made as to the best place to proceed with the divorce. When these issues are present, it is important to obtain specialist legal advice from a family law practitioner in each jurisdiction to determine whether it is best to proceed under Hong Kong laws or those of a foreign place. If there is a likelihood that one spouse may subsequently repatriate, the Hong Kong orders might be susceptible to being varied, superseded or even discharged by the courts of the home country. It is wise to ensure that the orders made by one court can be upheld in the other jurisdiction. As a family lawyer, I often stress the importance of taking legal advice at an early stage. This can ensure that a party’s best interests are protected.     Angie Todd has practised family law since 2002. She is a Partner at FitzGerald Lawyers and is qualified to practice across Hong Kong and Australia.

Writer, runner, heritage educator, traveller. DB’s Miyuki Lynn is bringing Japan to Hong Kong’s Japanese residents the fun way. Elizabeth Kerr reports Don’t be misled. Miyuki Lynn is, in her landmark 50th year, by no means getting forgetful. But when she waffles a bit when asked how long she’s been in Hong Kong, it’s proof of the universal constant that once somewhere becomes home, all temporal metrics fall by the wayside. “How long have I been here? Twenty? Eighteen years? The more time goes by the less you think about it. I’ve been in Hong Kong overall 25 years,” she says, clearly counting in her head, and finally settling on 19 – though that’s a fluid figure. Miyuki, a travel writer, interpreter, school director and Tokyo native looks as poised as would be expected of former Cathay Pacific flight crew. Her posture is enviable but she doesn’t look uptight or imperious. She looks like every other HongKonger who became enamoured of the city on a visit – for Miyuki that was in 1993 – and eventually relocated. And like so many transplants it became home without her even realising it. Miyuki lived in Tokyo until she was nine before moving to the United States when her finance professional father got transferred. She finished high school and university in Kyoto (with a detour in Hawaii to finish uni in a bikini on Waikiki) but headed to the SAR in 1994 with Cathay. It was also a way to get back to her roots. Teaching third-culture kids “I wanted to live in Asia. I’d lived in the States for so long… I was curious about living in other parts of Asia,” Miyuki begins. Hawaii gave her a taste for a new world lifestyle, and returning to Japan wasn’t on the cards. “There were too many rules and too many things you couldn’t do in Japan. I didn’t want to work there,” she explains. It helped that her dad had moved to Hong Kong. The 19 years she’s referring to is the time she, her Cathay pilot husband – a New Zealand native –and their two secondary-school children have lived in Discovery Bay. Miyuki is philosophical about her sense of self; she’s grown into her cosmopolitan skin, but it quietly lies at the foundation of why she started a school. “I haven’t lived in so long I can’t really say I ‘miss’ it. I’ve lived most of my life in Hong Kong. I lived in New York and Seattle, and I went to university in Hawaii. I don’t really consider it ‘home.’ I was born there. I am Japanese, but…” That school is the Hong Kong Japanese Supplementary School (JSS), which was founded to teach language and culture to Japanese and mixed-heritage kids (from kindergarten to roughly 13) living in Hong Kong about their, well, heritage. When Miyuki’s son was in P1, she started looking around for the kind of heritage classes she’d taken as a Japanese child in the US and came up empty. “There were plenty of classes that taught the language but nothing that taught the heritage and the experience,” she recalls. The classes on offer weren’t quite what she was looking for, and it turned out she wasn’t alone. An informal survey, after striking on the idea of starting her own school (she has a partner), found many of the other 15,000 to 20,000 Japanese residents in the SAR wanted their kids to have that education too. It was off to the races. As is the case with most things in Hong Kong, rental space was the biggest challenge, but eventually Miyuki found a school willing to board JSS in Yau Ma Tei, and another partner in the Chinese YMCA of Hong Kong. The self-funded JSS officially opened in 2011, after a fundraiser in Causeway Bay (where the second campus is), with 88 students: Miyuki had hoped for 20. JSS currently has about 180, and there’s a waiting list. Miyuki uses a Japanese government curriculum for language and JSS’s own curriculum for heritage, which encompasses everything from New Year mochi-pounding to visits to Yakult’s factory in Kwun Tong. The school is not about indoctrination. It’s about recognition and understanding identity, something increasingly important in a shrinking world. Miyuki explains: “I’m Japanese, my kids’ dad is from New Zealand, my kids were born in Hong Kong. They’re classic third-culture kids, and there are lots of kids like that in Hong Kong. They can lose their identity; they don’t know who they are. I went through that growing up in the States. Both my parents are Japanese and I still felt lost. So, it’s important for them to understand where they’re from (both parents’ sides), where they’re born and where they live. I want that for my children and plenty of other parents do too.” Travel writing on the run Naturally, Miyuki isn’t just co-running a school, she’s putting her history with Cathay to good use by continuing her travel writing – in Japanese. To that end, she recently published a travel running guide, so to speak, designed to get people out and running internationally. Miyuki herself started running after her son was born and 海外のいろんな マラソン走ってみた！ , her third book, details the marathons she’s run (often with her children) in 10 different countries. “I’m more of a travel, fun runner. I don’t really care how I do as long as I finish,” she says with a laugh. That attitude is blasphemy to anyone with a competitive streak, but Miyuki is happy to enjoy the place as much as the workout. Her book covers marathons in Vietnam, Nepal and Malaysia (up Kinabalu) among others. One of her favourites is a wheelchair-friendly course in Angkor Wat, which winds among the famous temples. Her times there are, admittedly, not that good. “I stop a lot,” she says with a chuckle. This summer she’s off to South Africa for the Big Five Marathon. Known as the wildest race of  them all, no fences, no rivers, nothing at all separates the runners from the African wildlife. “You run with rangers,” Miyuki deadpans. “I think I’ll finish that in record time.” But if this guide does well, Miyuki hopes to write a second edition going in the other direction, for overseas runners to try Japan’s routes. In light of the attention the country is getting in the lead up to the Summer Olympic Games, Miyuki is likely on to something, and she is indeed focusing on inbound travel stories at the moment. “There are 47 prefectures in Japan and I want to run all of them,” she gushes. She’s done six to date, and she calls running there “amazing,” thanks, in part, to the warm welcome runners receive. “The Nagoya Women’s Marathon is the most interesting,” explains Miyuki. “I think it’s the biggest in the world and it’s about 60,000 runners. At the finish line there are men in tuxedoes to present a blue box from Tiffany. You don’t get a medal: you get a Tiffany necklace.” For the immediate future though Miyuki’s running around will be centred on her kids; she’s packing both of them off to New Zealand for the new school term. It’s her daughter’s first in Aotearoa, and it was her choice. “I was happy for her to finish here, but she wanted to go,” says Miyuki. Like mother, like daughter.

We’ll make it through, but COVID-19 is a worry – for all of us, including our kids. Jason Broderick provides some takeaway tips to assist with children’s anxiety During unsettling times, such as the current COVID-19 outbreak, increased levels of stress and anxiety impact people in different ways. Learning to deal with these challenges over the years has, for many of us, been achieved through trial and error. But when our children are faced with challenges or trauma, we need to recognise that they may not yet have developed the skills to cope. As parents, we need to know the right strategies and approaches that will enable our children to continue to function and thrive. None of us wants to see a child unhappy, so the way we choose to help our children through these difficult times is important. If this is done well at this stage in their life, we are already laying the foundations for a future in which they are well-equipped to face adversity. But we need to recognise that we don’t always take the best approach; we fail to realise that sometimes our own coping skills could also use some improvement. Too  often, we choose to remove the sources of stress that can trigger anxiety. However, the best way for us to start assisting our children is to do like the flight attendants tell us: “Put your oxygen mask on first!” In short, we must become better attuned to our own behaviours before we can assist others. As adults, we are always role-modelling. Therefore, check-in with your own emotions and take a mindful moment before trying to assist your child; doing so can break the feedback loop of your child becoming stressed by observing and responding to your own stress. Children feed off your emotional ripple. Keep it real Quite often worry is presented in different ways for each child. This could be observed through changes in their sleep patterns, for instance nightmares, trouble settling down to sleep, or expressing fear about sleeping. A distinct change in their mannerisms – displaying irritability or anger, moodiness and/ or changes in appetite – can manifest. It is common to observe a regression of behaviour in young children, such as clinging, bedwetting, thumb sucking, withdrawal from others, or crying and tearfulness. You could witness increased fearfulness, for instance about monsters, the dark or being alone. When such behaviours are presented at home even the most well-meaning parents can fall into a negative spiral and be left wondering what they can possibly do to help. Model managing your own emotions in an age-appropriate  manner. It may be helpful to acknowledge your stress, and explain how you are struggling to manage it in a healthy way. Children pick up on feelings and nonverbal cues in the adults they spend time with so, if we try to hide our emotions, it can make the situation worse because our children won’t understand what is happening and why. It is important to give children some information to help them obtain some sense of what is happening. For instance, inform them about COVID-19 – if you equip them with age-appropriate facts they will be in a better position to deal with their fears. Your goal is to normalise your children’s stress levels in order to help them observe and manage a traumatic situation in a more positive way. Talking openly about COVID-19 will help, as will going out of your way to make life seem as ‘normal’ as possible. When their routine is predictable, children feel safe because they know what  to expect from their day. It’s essential to create structure: Identify key times of the day when important activities, like home learning, should occur and make it a routine. Be sure the routine works for the whole family. Communicate your expectations clearly and make sure your children know what you want them to do and when you want them to do it. Depending on your child’s age, use simple charts with pictures to visually display daily routines. Your children may not always want to follow the routine/ rules, so provide reminders and support, when needed, to help them succeed. Even when you’re tired or stressed, do try to stick to the routine as much as possible. Validate their feelings Try to be understanding and take the time to listen to what is confusing or troubling your children. Let them know that they can share with you how they are feeling at any time. Realise they may have a hundred questions – this is quite common for children when they are processing events. Listen and be empathetic: Help your children understand what they are anxious about and encourage them to feel that they can face their fears. Right now, your children need to feel empowered – explain that we can protect ourselves and our friends by wearing our masks whenever we go outdoors and by washing our hands more often than we normally do. In your own way validate what your children are feeling. By reflecting and acknowledging their thoughts and emotions, you can help them understand that it is ok not to feel ok. The message you want to send is, “I know you’re scared, and that’s fine. I’m here and I’m going to help you get through this.” Avoid negating children’s feelings with responses like, “Oh, don’t be worried.” This may cause them to feel embarrassed or criticised. It is better to confirm and reflect what you are hearing: “Yes, I can see that you are worried.” However, understand that validation doesn’t always mean agreement, and if your child is trying to use the trauma as an excuse to avoid commitments then you need to set expectations and consequences, more clearly. Sometimes it helps to talk through what would happen if your child’s fear came true – how would they handle it? A child who is anxious about COVID-19 might be fearful about someone they know getting sick. I suggest you talk about that. “If someone we know caught COVID-19 what  would happen to them? What would we do?” And so on… Quite often the trauma being faced is escalated primarily because the child hasn’t experienced the problematic situation before and so for some, having a plan can reduce the uncertainty in a healthy, effective way. Importantly, know when to seek help for yourself and/ or your child. Distress and worry, in addition to other issues, may last for a reasonably long duration of time and this can be entirely appropriate both during and after a traumatic event. But seek immediate help from your family doctor or from a mental health professional if issues are interfering with your child’s ability to function or succeed. Jason Broderick is a well-being coach and counselling psychologist at Discovery Bay International School ( www.dbis.edu.hk ). To follow him on Instagram, head to @wellbeingcoach101 .