Know Your Kids! Parenting Trends for 2023

From feminist parenting and accepting screentime to cooking more veggies, here’s what we can expect in the coming year. Samantha Wong reports PHOTOS COURTESY OF Adobe Stock

It takes a village to rear a child (or it used to) and one of the biggest parenting trends coming out of the lockdown years is an acknowledgement of this. The pandemic has taught us that we can do it on our own but quite frankly we’d rather not. 2023 is going to see us reaching out and expanding our family circle, whether that’s by spending more time with grandparents, aunts and cousins or introducing our kids to our wider network of friends. Of course, it’s a long time since the definition of ‘family’ was limited to the traditional father, mother, child model. Once diverse forms of parenting – single parents, same-sex parents, couples who’ve had kids late in life, and families where the father is the primary caregiver – are now increasingly the norm. The bottom line is that we can parent in our own way and, coming into the new year, we feel empowered to do so. Research shows that parents who experience the most satisfaction from their role align their parenting decisions with their personal passions, values and beliefs. Being a parent doesn’t have to mean giving up our identity, and many parents are working out how to create families that are an accurate reflection of their own uniqueness.

IN: #METOO PARENTING

As the world becomes increasingly chaotic and fast-changing, parents are recognising the importance of having two-way exchanges – regular, meaningful dialogue – with their children. Casually instigated parent-child conversations are a means to impact on children’s behaviour and thinking, while strengthening relationships. Intimate and far ranging discussions around the dining table are again becoming central to family life. Parents are intent on creating safe spaces for children to talk about sensitive topics at home rather than in online chat rooms. Unfiltered conversations like these can cover everything from body image, self-esteem and gender to mental health. The #MeToo movement has provided us with plenty to talk about; we want our children to be feminist, body-confident, compassionate and respectful, regardless of their gender. As parents in a post-Harvey Weinstein world, teaching kids about consent remains a priority. There is a building trend for parents to be more open to their children’s opinions, thoughts and feelings. Where our parents used harsh words and even the occasional slap to drive a point home or ‘educate’ us, we want to take the time to understand our kids and help them understand us. To this end, authoritative parenting remains a buzzword going into 2023, with parents aiming to be flexible and democratic… without being total pushovers. Authoritative parents listen to their children and are prepared to adapt based on their opinions. Importantly though, they place limits on their children’s behaviour and provide fair and consistent discipline when rules are broken. After all, it’s fine to have high expectations for our children, as long as we provide them with the resources, boundaries and emotional support they need to succeed. Conversely, another approach that’s picking up steam going into 2023 is that it’s OK for children to ‘fail.’ In Hong Kong, we live in a results-orientated society and traditionally, the pressure on children to succeed from a ver y young age has been immense. But more and more parents are accepting that the concept of failure is a positive part of learning, and that facing challenges ultimately increases children’s knowledge and skills, helps build self-esteem and aids problem solving.

IN: TECHNOLOGY USE

Not all of you are going to like this but the word is that 2023 is the year in which parents finally accept technology as a central part of children’s lives. We’ve spent so long worrying about tech addiction; we’ve tried and failed to limit children’s screentime, and the consensus now is that we were backing the wrong horse. We have learnt that technology can play an essential role in our children’s education. We saw this during lockdown when online learning became the ‘new normal’ and since then, the use of technology for educational purposes has surged both at school and at home. What’s more, many of us gave our children unlimited access to their tablets and smartphones when they were stuck at home… and they survived the experience. No doubt, we need to continue to make daily decisions about how much screen- and gadget time we allow our children, and of what content. But the heat is off. The same restraint that permits two sweets but not the whole pack, or two glasses of wine but not the whole bottle can be applied to devices. Technological advancements are happening all the time, all around us, and our kids need access to this world just as much as we do. When it comes down to it, parenting today plays out very much in the public domain. An increasing number of us write Mummy and Daddy blogs, and almost all of us document our children’s lives somewhere on social media. Predictions for 2023 also see more of us shelving our parenting books and looking to online discussion groups for hands on tips and advice from other parents. Even more than Facebook or Instagram, online discussion groups and dedicated parenting apps can provide parents with a very real sense of joy and connection. Chances are that whatever parenting struggle you’re dealing with, someone else is going through it too. And there are some incredible parenting hacks to pick up on. There’s also plenty of fun to be had, as users openly share their day-to-day experiences, including their most embarrassing, weird and downright hysterical parenting moments – the one’s we can all relate to. Not all social-media platforms are about curating a ‘picture-perfect’ identity; the most useful, like TikTok (when we had access to it), are firmly rooted in reality, and full of users who are refreshingly vulnerable and open.

IN: MORE VEGETABLES...

More positives: 2023 could be the year your picky eater gets a lot more adventurous. With kids placing a high priority on personal health and the health of the planet, protein replacements and vegetarian options are becoming their diet of choice. Now’s the time to perfect those veggie burgers and your Watermelon Edamame Poke. But let’s say, your child is not with the programme. From tears and tantrums to flat-out refusal, many of us have been through the wringer trying to get kids to swallow even a piece of lettuce. Happily, all that came to an end in January last year when one woman on, you guessed it, TikTok shared a clever, fuss-free way to encourage kids to eat their veggies. In case you missed the post, here’s a quick summary. Simply put, you don’t ask your children to eat veggies – you trick them into it. Chat to your kids while munching on a bowl of chopped red peppers. Then before you leave the room, casually pass them a slice and watch them take it from you without thinking. Job done! This useful hack gained a lot of attention online, attracting 2.8 million views within a month of posting. One TikTok user, SwedishSwan, wrote: “It’s a scientific fact that food tastes better out of your mum’s hands or off her plate.” She got that right! Some things never change; parenting trends, well, they come and go.