Love is in the Air: The DB Bubble!

Dating and romance in DB: Edward Szekeres finds out what that looks like for singles, romantic partners and married couples

PHOTOGRAPHY BY Andrew J.C. Spires & courtesy of Pam Wallace

The picture is clear, the appeal obvious and inescapable. Discovery Bay is a prime venue for romance, a must-visit dating spot for love-struck couples walking hand-in-hand across Tai Pak Beach or posing for selfies at Love-Lock Promenade… At least that’s the message conveyed by major travel agencies and local authorities through regular romantic promotions and elaborate, annual Valentine’s packages.

Most of us have seen the rose-tinted advertisements that tend to attract a weekend crowd of smitten couples. But what’s it really like for those living in DB – alone, with a partner, or a spouse – when it comes to the ins and outs of love, dating and romance?

A quick glance at online discussion panels – and an informal collection of attitudes from across DB – reveals a two-sided outlook: DB is “great for families but boring for singles”. But that hasn’t been the experience of Elektra Leung, a resident in her mid-twenties who grew up in DB. As a singleton, who returned from her studies abroad a few years ago, life in DB was just great.

“I hung out with my friends from the old days and I also started playing tennis with new friends I met in the community. DB is a small and friendly place, it’s easy to make friends fast,” she says. “If you live in DB, we all kind of know each other. The community vibe here makes you feel connected, whether you’re single or in a relationship.”

It is thanks to this community that Elektra eventually met her boyfriend Ryan Mak, while playing tennis at the DBRC. They now both enjoy the “unique nature of DB, away from the crowds outside”.

“Most of the time, we just walk around with our beagle, Snoopy. On weekend afternoons, we have a big dog playgroup, so we’ll just hang out there, chat with other dog owners, and let Snoopy run wild. That’s become our favourite kind of date – simple, relaxed and surrounded by green space and friendly faces,” Elektra says.

“I don’t find the isolation limiting at all, it’s way more romantic than I ever expected,” Elektra adds. “We don’t need fancy date spots, DB has everything we need for a happy, romantic life together. The peaceful vibe and nature here make it feel like our own little bubble, and I love that.” But this “bubble” – a word often mentioned by DB residents when discussing dating – can be a barrier to some, especially those who are yet to meet their romantic match.

“I’ve been living in DB for three years, and I haven’t met anyone single or available,” says Gianna Wong. In her early thirties, Gianna admits her focus on her career and hobbies has played a part in keeping her single. While she’s open to meeting someone who fits the bill, she finds the confines of DB limiting. “Most people here have families or long-term relationships,” she says. “If I really wanted to meet someone, I’d probably look outside DB.”

Being single doesn’t keep Gianna from having a happy life in DB however, and she hopes to share that one day with a long-term partner. “Couples have a good life here,” she says. “It’s a small place, but there are lots of romantic places and nice restaurants to choose from for dates. You can walk along the beach, do hikes… and it’s only 25 minutes from Central.”

Distance from town, however, plays a big part in the love life of MJ Bejerano, a domestic helper from the Philippines who moved to DB three years ago. “It’s very different from everywhere else in Hong Kong,” MJ says, hinting at the dense concentration of families within a small area – and the apparent lack of singletons.

MJ, who’s in her early forties, hasn’t met any romantic partners in DB. She prefers to meet people further from her workplace to enjoy more privacy – a sentiment she shares with many of her DB friends. But this presents its own challenges, particularly for a community whose working hours stretch far beyond a typical 9am to 6pm workday and which, in most cases, only has a limited amount of free time.

“That’s why it’s really hard for me to meet people. Transport takes a long time, and the ferry is expensive. I also have a lot of other activities and sports. But if I met someone who can accept the limited time I can make for them, then maybe that could work,” MJ says.

“My mentality is that if there’s someone out there for you, they’ll eventually come along,” she adds. “And if somebody really likes you, then it doesn’t matter that there’s a 25-minute ferry. If I really liked that person, I’d cancel plans for them and dedicate my small amount of free time to them.”

Gianna and MJ agree that while DB’s dating pool might be narrow, the place itself offers a great life for those who are happy being single – or don’t mind meeting people outside the “bubble”. But what about those who are not looking to meet anyone else, with their hearts and minds already married to the one?

“At first, it seemed a bit like The Truman Show,” chuckle Diya and Anant Bakre, a married couple who moved to DB 10 months ago from the Netherlands. “You meet the same people, and the same things happen everywhere, like in a quiet village.

“It’s a lovely place in a controlled environment that’s optimal for getting to know people. It’s got a good balance of people who have come recently and those who have really set up homes here,” Anant adds. “Most people have been very inviting and super friendly, and they also find the time for a quick chat,” Diya says. “And I’m deliriously happy Anant found the DBRC tennis community; all the social opportunities keep us active.”

For Pam and Brent Wallace, a married couple of 32 years – half of which they’ve spent in DB – the feeling is mutual.

“Moving here from the US, we just started making friends right away. We landed on a Monday, and were at church the next Sunday,” Pam says. “Our kids, aged 12 and 14 at the time, were at church retreat a week later with the youth group. So it was a great decision to move here.”

The children have since moved out, and DB has undoubtedly evolved. But so has Pam and Brent’s relationship. “We wanted to make sure we had a healthy mix of friends and together-time,” Brent says. To this day, the couple try and carve out a night in their weekly schedules to focus on each other. “Friday nights are date nights,” Brent says, with DB being the ideal playground.

Whether it’s going out for dinner or having a glass of wine out on their patio with their phones switched off, Pam and Brent take the time to “just sit, catch up and solve the world’s problems, no matter how crazy the day has been”.

“It’s so easy to grow apart,” Pam says, emphasising the importance of “doing things together”. One of those things is dragon boating, with both being long-time members of the DB-based Sea Cucumbers. “It really helps our relationship and keeps it alive, especially now that the kids have left,” Pam says. “We’ve made brilliant friends there, they’re like family.”

At the end of the day, whether in DB or not, staying together comes down to choice, hard work and being there for each other. “People can choose to let the spark go out,” Pam concludes, “or they can choose to do what it takes to keep it going. Just be purposeful.”