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Top Tips: Know Your Plonk!

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Whether you’re new to wine or well into it and want to know more, here are some traditions debunked and best practices worth following

You may remember the scene in Brideshead Revisited where Charles and Sebastian get hold of a wine-tasting book and decide to make a “serious acquaintance with wine”. “…We warmed the glass slightly at a candle, filled it a third high, swirled the wine round, nursed it in our hands, held it to the light, breathed it, sipped it, filled our mouths with it, and rolled it over the tongue, ringing it on the palate like a coin on a counter, tilted our heads back and let it trickle down the throat.” Our heroes aspire to be oenophiles, wine connoisseurs, which is all well and good, but you don’t need to follow a guidebook to know how to enjoy wine.

There’s a lot of snobbery and etiquette surrounding the drinking of wine, which can be intimidating and off-putting. For an experience that ought to be entirely pleasurable, many people spend far too much time worrying that they are doing it wrong. When it comes down to it, there are no rules.

Here’s the reality: over many years, wine experts have developed a set of best practices. These are based on experience and tradition. Yet, none of them are so meaningful that they should diminish the simple enjoyment of pouring wine into a glass and drinking it. There are no serious consequences if you choose not to do as the experts do, but it’s worth taking a look at the rewards you can reap if you follow at least some of their suggestions.

DESCRIBING WINE

Back to Brideshead. As Charles and Sebastian get increasingly drunk, the way they describe the wines they are tasting gets more and more exaggerated. “…It is a little shy wine like a gazelle.” “Like a leprechaun.” “Dappled, in a tapestry meadow.” “…And this is a wise old wine.” “A prophet in a cave.” “…And this is a necklace of pearls on a white neck.” “Like a swan.” “Like the last unicorn.” Anyone who’s ever heard a true oenophile talk about wine will see the irony in this exchange.

At a wine-tasting the other day, I heard wines described as racy, flamboyant, jammy, flabby and cigar box. Tannins weren’t just tannins they were either chewy or grippy; I was asked to discuss primary, secondary and tertiary aromas, and “mouthfeel”. It’s fine to use that kind of lingo of course, but you don’t have to sound pretentious to talk about wine. You don’t have to possess an abstract, sommelierlevel vocabulary or encyclopaedic knowledge of vineyard names. You just have to be able to tell someone what it is that you like to drink.

Stick to basic terms like sweet, off-dry (slightly sweet), dry (all the sugar in the fruit has been fermented into alcohol), fruity and savoury (floral, herbal, stony or saline). Know your tannin levels (naturally occurring molecules in wine that make your mouth feel dried out after you take a sip) and body (whether the wine feels light or silky in your mouth). Telling your wine server or merchant that you love tannic, full-bodied red wines will get you further than saying you prefer wines that taste like cherries and over-steeped tea.\

SERVING WINE

The old adage “red wine with red meat, and white wine with white meat and fish” might seem outdated – these days, we drink what we like, and eat what we like – but there’s some truth in it. Dry red wines work with steak: light wines pair up with leaner cuts of meat, while high-tannin wines pair up with richer, fattier cuts because they can cut through the fat. Meanwhile, white wine is a superb complement to fish because of its higher acidity; it sharpens the flavour, like a squirt of lemon juice.

Another “tradition” to investigate concerns wine temperature: red wine is served warm, and white wine is served cold, right? Yes, but go carefully.

Most people serve red wine too warm. All reds should be at least slightly cool, and reds that are simple thirst-quenchers can be served colder than that. In general, medium- and full-bodied reds, and reds that are complex or high in tannin should be served cool (14 to 18°C), while light-bodied reds should be served lightly chilled (10 to 14°C). As for white: oaked, complex white wine should be lightly chilled (10 to 14°C); light- and mediumbodied white wine and rosé should be chilled (8 to 10°C). Sweet and/ or sparkling wines (red or white) should be well chilled (6 to 8°C).

And what about decanting? Is it worth doing? Yes, for two reasons. First, to aerate good, young wines, making them more enjoyable to drink. Second, to separate an aged wine from the sediment that naturally develops in the bottle. Drinking sediment is not harmful but it is unpleasant, like having a mouthful of grit.

To decant, stand the unopened bottle upright for 24 hours or more, so the sediment can slide to the bottom of the bottle, making it easier to separate. Pour the wine into the decanter slowly and steadily, without stopping; when you get to the bottom half of the bottle, pour even more slowly. Stop as soon as you see the sediment reach the neck of the bottle. Sediment isn’t always chunky and obvious; stop pouring if the wine’s colour becomes cloudy, or if you spot what looks like specks of dust in the neck of the bottle.

DRINKING WINE

Of course, any vessel that holds liquids can be used to drink wine. Tumblers and juice glasses are fine, if you are enjoying simple wines at home or with friends. Expensive wines will still taste good in them too, though they taste even better in dedicated stemmed glasses.

Often used as a universal red wine glass, cabernet glasses have a large bowl and tall stem. The large bowl gives the wine more surface area, allowing it to oxidise or breathe. Oxidising softens the tannins found in reds, improving the overall flavour and releasing the wine’s natural aromas.

For most whites, you need a glass with a narrow bowl, which limits oxidation – too much air can compromise the bright flavours characteristic of white wine. The narrow bowl combined with a narrow opening also helps keep the wine chilled. But for heavier, oaky whites, like chardonnay, you need a large bowl; the greater surface area exposed to air lets the wine open up to reveal other tastes.

All wine glasses need a stem – this allows you to swirl the wine to aerate it and help release the aromas, and it prevents you from warming the wine in the glass with the heat from your hand. The glass at the rim should be fairly thin, to encourage you to sip, and really savour the wine.

Now, how much to pour? Experts say, you fill a wine glass a third of the way, never more than half. This gives the wine plenty of room to breathe (as the widest point of a wine glass is about one-third up), maximises aromas and allows you to swirl your glass without spilling.

Once you’ve swirled the glass, there’s one more step before you get to take that first sip: smelling the wine. Sticking your nose all the way into the glass, closing your eyes and breathing deeply before taking a sip (as the oenophiles do) may make you feel a little silly, but it will win you respect in fancy restaurants and, more importantly, it will increase your enjoyment. Our sense of smell has a profound effect on the way our brain processes flavour: when you smell a wine, you’re preparing your brain for what you’re about to taste. Cheers!

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